How Jerrod Carmichael Broiled Hollywood at the 2023 Golden Globes

Wait a minute, you’re making mint tea at home. Next time you’re asked to be the black face of a beleaguered white organization, Jerrod Carmichael joked as he began planning the 80th Golden Globes, strategically targeting his employers for the night, the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn .

Not recognizing the elephant in the ballroom early on would have set an obviously soft tone for both Carmichael and the organization mired in scandal, the subject of a 2021 Los Angeles Times investigation that led to a series of reforms in one of Hollywood’s most lucrative awards. body.

So instead, Emmy-winning comedian Rothaniel walked out the door calling out some of HFPA’s most infamous controversies, chief among which was the bands’ lack of diversity. Also in his sights during the night: Scientology, The Slap, Kanye West and many others. Even Sebastian from The Little Mermaid wasn’t safe.

Despite being one of the few celebs in attendance who dared to bite the hand that feeds them (rather than citing a practical work-related reason for skipping the festivities, this year’s excuse du jour), the emcee let loose. fewer and fewer beards as the three-hour-plus show ran behind schedule. Here’s an annotated guide to all the snaps Carmichael managed to grab from the Globes stage.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

I’m here because I’m black, Carmichael said in his opening monologue, referencing previous bands and the glaring lack of a single black member. (Now, he added, there are six: Kudos to them. Whatever.)

I’ll catch up with everyone in the room, he offered. This show, the Golden Globe Awards, didn’t air last year because the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn., which I won’t say was a racist organization, but they didn’t have a single member black until George Floyd dies, so do with that information what you want.

Despite the industry’s initial reluctance to come back strong in support of the Globes, they bounced back. Asked to host this year’s awards, even Carmichael admitted to struggling with the moral dilemma, telling producer Stephen Hill, I’m only being asked to host this, I know, because I’m black.

After accepting the gig and, he said, his $500,000 paycheck, he recalled refusing to meet with new HFPA president Helen Hoehne so she could brief him on the news. group’s attempts to repair their reputation.

They haven’t had a black host in 79 years, Carmichael said. Will they fire first? Im unfireable….And I’m going to be totally honest with everyone here tonight, I don’t really need to hear that. I took this job assuming they hadn’t changed at all.

Sebastian from The Little Mermaid

It was still early in the telecast when Carmichael, riffing with Globes guest pianist Chloe Flower, commented on the familiar tune she was playing to bring back the telecast after a commercial break: Under the seafrom the 1989 Disney animated film The Little Mermaid.

Is The Little Mermaid Crab Racist, Did We Get It? he improvised before the presentation of the award for best animated film, which went to Guillermo del Toros Pinocchio.

The Red Crab, voiced in the film with a Jamaican accent by actor Samuel E. Wright, won a Grammy and the Oscar for Best Original Song in 1989. He was voiced by a black man, but he was originally of South Carolina, Carmichael said. Does it count? Is it like Drake’s Rules, where a black person can interpret the black voice?

Scientology and its star, Tom Cruise

Later, Carmichael appeared on stage to introduce Top Gun co-hosts and co-stars: Maverick Jay Ellis and Glen Powell. In his arms, he hugged three Golden Globes statues he says once belonged to Tom Cruise. Following The Times’ 2021 HFPA investigation, which revealed both the organizations’ lack of diversity and ethical and financial lapses, the Top Gun star has publicly returned his Golden Globes in protest.

I have a pitch, said Carmichael. I think maybe we can take those three things and trade them in for the safe return of Shelly Miscavige?

Miscavige, the wife of longtime Church of Scientology leader David Miscavige, has reportedly not been seen in public for years. Cruise, whose Golden Globe-nominated Top Gun: Maverick was one of the most popular films of 2022, remains Scientology’s most visible and influential celebrity.

The joke prompted former Scientology member Leah Remini, who starred in and co-produced the A&E docuseries Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, to respond to Carmichael on Twitter. Thank you Jerrod Carmichael! tweeted Remini. Where is Shelly??

Remini, one of Hollywood’s most vocal critics of the organization, filed a missing persons report on behalf of Shelly Miscaviges in 2013. It was later dismissed by the LAPD.

Former Scientology leader Mike Rinder, who co-hosts the Scientology: Fair Game podcast with Remini, also thanked Carmichael for raising awareness. It’s time for #Scientology to produce Shelly Miscavige, it wrote on Twitter. @LeahRemini and others have been fighting for years to get proof of her well-being.

Kanye West

Back on stage, Carmichael cracked a little joke when he found Steven Spielberg in the audience. Congratulations on the Fabelmans, he said. I actually saw it with Kanye and it changed everything, that’s how good it was.

The semi-autobiographical film draws on Spielberg’s own movie-obsessed childhood in an American Jewish family and depicts scenes of anti-Semitic bullying. The filmmaker, who was also co-nominated with Tony Kushner for the screenplay of The Fabelmans, won his fourth career Golden Globe for directing.

It’s unclear if West has seen The Fabelmans, which won the night’s highest prize.

Last year, brazenly hateful anti-Semitic comments by once-adored rappers cost him access to social media, lucrative endorsement deals and the respect of the music and fashion industries that once revered him.

Will Smith and the slap

Introducing Crazy Rich Asians star Henry Golding to present the award for Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama, Carmichael snuck in a quick dig at The Slap that rocked the Oscars last year, when Will Smith attacked Chris Rock on air for making a joke about his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith.

While we were in the commercial, we actually presented Will Smith with the Rock Hudson Award for Best Portrayal of Masculinity on Television, he joked.

Soon after, Carmichaels’ dig was bolstered by comedy legend Eddie Murphy. Receiving this year’s Cecil B. DeMille Award from pals Tracy Morgan and Jamie Lee Curtis, Murphy launched into a heartfelt acceptance speech thanking his family, collaborators and representatives in light of a career spanning more than 40 years in showbiz.

He closed the moment by offering sage advice to budding artists. There is a definite blueprint you can follow to achieve success, prosperity and peace of mind, he began. It is very simple. There are three things: mind your own business, do your taxes, and keep the name of Will Smith’s wife out of your mouth!

The Beverly Hilton

In the easiest joke to throw of the night, Carmichael caught the attention of the chattering crowds with a morbid reminder of where they were: We’re here live from the hotel that killed Whitney Houston the Beverly Hilton.

It was at the luxury hotel in Beverly Hills, the longtime home of the Globes, where the iconic singer tragically died of an accidental drowning on Feb. 11, 2012, a day before the 54th Grammy Awards. Houston had stayed at the hotel ahead of recording executive Clive Davis’ annual pre-Grammys celebration.

The new biopic I Wanna Dance With Somebody, starring Naomi Ackie as Houston and Stanley Tucci as Davis, highlights the Beverly Hilton in its description of the singer’s final moments, including a scene in which she gets a lethal dose of drugs in the hotel lobby.