‘Hope is scary’: Saskatoon woman talks about infertility – Saskatoon

A woman in Saskatoon opened up about the impact of fertility issues on her mental health, following new research released this week by the University of Saskatchewan that could help determine a couple’s chances of reproductive success. .

“We thought that if it happened once, it would happen again,” said Caitlin Hildebrand, recalling her first miscarriage while trying to conceive.

“Mental health takes a toll,” says Hildebrand. “I feel so alone and lonely with so much waiting. It seems like everyone around you is pregnant.”

Hildebrand was working as a delivery nurse in Saskatoon while trying to conceive in 2014.

“If I can’t be one of them, how can I care for them during their pregnancy?” asked Hildebrand.

Over the years, she underwent dozens of treatments, tests and inseminations to increase her chances of conceiving.

Unfortunately all attempts failed for unknown reasons.

“When you’re trying to get pregnant and you go to the grocery store, the first thing you notice is a pregnant woman walking down the street,” Hildebrand says. “When I walk past the baby section of the store, my mind is focused on that. It feels like it will never happen. It will happen to everyone else, but it won’t happen to you.” ”

Hildebrand was referred to Calgary in 2019, where they were able to extract nine viable embryos, one of which resulted in a pregnancy.

When she was six and a half weeks pregnant, Hildebrand had her second miscarriage.

“I feel like I’m holding on to something concrete, like, ‘I’m going to try this new drug and this new procedure, and in the end this might work.’ And when things go wrong, Your hope begins.” To stagger away. ”

The couple repeated the painstaking process of embryo transfer again in hopes of having twins.

“It’s scary to have hope,” Hildebrand said. “I don’t want to lose it and get screwed.”

Ultimately, one embryo was retrieved and Hildebrand successfully conceived in 2020.

Her daughter will be 3 years old this July.

“We knew in our hearts that it was what we wanted, and it was the children that we felt were missing from our lives,” Hildebrand said. said. “There is always the question of when is enough?”

She noted that many families do not have the financial ability to pursue the kind of treatment she is fortunate to receive.

Roger Pearson, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Saskatchewan, said it’s good for couples to know their chances because assisted reproductive technology is expensive.

“About 1 in 6 couples worldwide experience infertility, or infertility against infertility,” Pearson said.

Pearson’s team at the University of Saskatchewan has developed a new system to help couples determine their chances of getting pregnant so that people like Hildebrand can get a head start on conceiving.

Pearson said the Gardner system, developed in the 1980s, allows embryos to be scored on a scale of 1 to 6, with two other factors represented by the letters A, B, and C in the scoring. is also included.

He used a numerical embryo quality score index (NEQsiUsing a system his team developed, it can be converted into a single digital score that can be put on a probability curve.

He said this is part of the assisted reproductive technology available to doctors and couples.

Throughout the process, Hildebrand said finding support groups in the community made a difference to her mental health.

“Even in the clinic, I feel lonely, like I’m sitting in my corner with my head bowed, with no one else talking to me,” Hildebrand explained.

In the midst of her struggles, Hildebrand found You Are Not Alone, a support group in Saskatoon that helps members struggling with infertility.

“Finding someone to talk to about it is very supportive and very healing.”

She is currently helping promote one of the groups.

“Some of our members have chosen to be childfree because treatment was not available or did not work. I think it’s really great to have members of all kinds of families out there.” (IVF) What did you do with the adoption. ”

— with files from Brody Langer of Global News

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