Hey! Let's give up everything that makes America America by electing Donald Trump! • Florida Phoenix

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of democracy.

What has democracy done for us?

Besides equal rights, respect for the essential dignity of each person and the rule of law, I mean.

Did it give us flying cars?

He does not have.

But now that the Supreme Junta's Guardian Council's Board of Commissioners has dropped this rule of law issue, I expect things to improve here.

America is going back to its roots. Way back when. Like when one man told us all what to do.

You didn't have to exhaust yourself making decisions. George III made them for you.

He was also a stylish guy: check out his fabulous gear.

No one dared threaten to sue him, that's for sure.

It is true that the British tried Charles I for treason in 1649, convicted him, and then cut off his head for insisting that God had chosen him as king, and therefore he could do whatever he wanted.

Times have changed. No more beheading our lords and masters.

After all, Donald Trump says God chose him too.

At that time in England there was no wise and sensible Supreme Court. Here in America our supreme justices inform us today that the president by whom they mean Donald Trump obviously cannot be tried for treason.

Or corruption.

Or corruption.

Or steal classified documents.

Or incite an insurrection to overturn a free and fair election.

Or anything else, as long as it's an official act.

And who has the right to say what is official? Well, it is our dear ayatollahs of the Federalist Society.

Richard Nixon was right all along: when the president does something, it means it's not illegal.

Economical with the truth

Leftists will point out that many of the sitting judges who simply say “no” to Trump trials may have said things in their confirmation hearings that don’t exactly square with their recent decision to place the president above the law.

Justices of the United States Supreme Court (Photo by Fred Schilling, Court collection)

Like that lovely lady Amy Coney Barrett, who said: No one is above the law.

And Samuel Alito: No one in this country is above the law.

And John Roberts: No one is above the law in our system, and that includes the president.

And Neil Gorsuch: No man is above the law.

Brett Kavanaugh quoted Federalist 69 on how presidents should be subject to prosecution and punishment under the ordinary law and added: “I don’t think anybody thinks about immunity. And why not? Nobody is above the law. And that’s a fundamental principle of the Constitution and equal justice.”

Well, that was then, this is now, and how do you know they didn't cross their fingers?

Besides, you will surely agree that when the opportunity presents itself to create a nice little autocracy that benefits you, your religious fanatic allies, and your charming billionaire patrons, you should seize it.

Besides, who among us has not been sparing with the truth during a job interview?

The majority of the court members are simply fulfilling the mission given to them by their friends at the Heritage Foundation in their Project 2025.

New order

Lovingly crafted by hundreds of Trump administration alumni, unwoke professors, good Catholics (the Torquemada type, not the Pope Francis type), and other good white people, P2025 seeks to eliminate free birth control, ban mifepristone, abolish the Department of Education (because where does education get anyone?), cripple the Civil Rights Act, dismantle the FBI, Justice Department, and Homeland Security, close the Federal Reserve, decimate welfare, replace all federal employees with political appointees, and return our nation to godliness.

Exactly as Justice Alito recommended.

When Donaldus Magnus becomes Dear Leader next January, he and his court will establish a New Order in which non-whites will have to recognize that only true Americans, heirs of such gentleman landowners as Washington, Jefferson and Madison, are the natural rulers of this country, not the swarthy immigrants from the southern border or even the even swarthier descendants of Africans who came to work on the plantations.

Women need to accept men as their natural leaders (girls, you only have ONE JOB, white babies!) and start learning how to bake cakes from scratch again.

Most importantly, America must return to the true faith of oil, the only source of energy for true patriots.

As the Project proclaims, Stop the War on Fossil Fuels!

In the unlikely event that this so-called climate change is real, we could simply fix it by refusing to name it. This worked very well in Florida!

Why not abandon the elections too?

If anyone objects to this (your old hippies, your Green New Dealers, your Al Gores, your South Floridians drowning in the latest floods), they can no longer go to Washington to cry.

Our Super Supremes have overturned the Chevron Doctrine, decreeing that federal agencies, with their thousands of climatologists, chemists, engineers, wildlife biologists, doctors, PhDs, PhDs and other elites, cannot decide what constitutes clean air, clean water, which animals should be saved, etc.

If you are an endangered species, I think it is probably your fault. You should not live in a forest that needs logging or waterways where people want to go fast by boat or near major highways.

The government must go.

Kevin Roberts, president of the Heritage Foundation. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Mr. Kevin Roberts, president of the Heritage Foundation, said: “We are in the midst of the second American Revolution.”

In the 1770s, people liked to talk about liberty, justice and progress.

Well, look where it got us: women's suffrage, a minimum wage, affordable health care, a free press, the end of slavery, and too much democracy.

I say while we're righting the ship of American state, why not also ditch the election? It's such a drag, all that coloring in little circles when you could be at church. Or shopping.

Of course, there will be some resistance from the wokers and nitpickers who like to think of the Constitution as a kind of Bible.

They will eventually back down. As the Heritage leader says in a completely non-threatening manner, the coming revolution will remain bloodless if the left allows it.

Democracy fetishists, human rights fanatics, lovers of the perverse practice of voting: you have been warned.

There you go, that's Trump.

If I were you, I would be very careful walking down Fifth Avenue.

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