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Human condition: this father, grandfather knows everything about the power of girls | Entertainment / Life




What are these chromosomes? Growing up the only son in a family of daughters, I was the last in my line to carry the surname.

After the wedding a long time ago, we stuck to our plan of stopping at two offspring. Two girls. What did a sports fan have to do with that bowl of estrogen?

My lively daughters quickly allayed all concerns.

Yes, there were countless dance recitals and Brownie outings and Barbie dolls and tutus worn even in church. But they paired well with swimming and gymnastics meets and soccer matches with stellar results.

Both of my daughters were sportsmen and even bled purple and gold at (former) Alex Box Stadium, PMAC and, of course, Death Valley.

So when it was their turn to marry and start their own brood, I wasn’t sure if I would know how to deal with one or two grandsons. Alas, I never will.

My granddaughter feeding group is between 5 and 14 years old. Their mothers Barbies have been replaced by various unicorns and Disney princesses.

And, at the risk of violating the HIPPA rules, the fertility tap is now officially off. The resulting kaleidoscope of their disarming features blends into our family like a perfect autumn red.

First came Sofia, always creative, thoughtful and insightful. Before swimming and horses became her passion, she initiated the ritual of charming her grandfathers indulging in the occasional nail paint job.

Then came Marta, one of the most competitive kid in every way, but blessed with a rare combination of compassion for all and a dark sense of humor. If you mention the hated Crimson Tide in her company, be prepared for some quick aftershocks.

Alexandra arrived much later, and with her sensitivity, voracious reading and curious puzzles. Don’t ask him about manatees unless you have plenty of time. Luckily, her father Gator’s addictions have been doomed forever as she dons her bag of Tiger books daily at her South Florida school.

Louise seems the perfect anchor leg for my granddaughter’s relay team. She is terribly daring and adventurous, is always curious and fiercely loyal to her big sister. Born reveler, gowns are looming in his future.

Three of my four angels came out left-handed, perhaps a fitting gesture in memory of my late father, who converted me to a right-hander early on because there is no left-handed center fielder at the Yankee. Stadium. His hopes have been seriously dashed.

And what is the best part of it all? In the collective starry eyes of my granddaughters, one way or another, their grandfather can do very little harm. Hello to the chromosomes!

Fornias lives in Baton Rouge

Advocate readers can submit stories of approximately 500 words to The Human Condition at [email protected] There is no payment, and the stories will be edited. Authors should include their city of residence and, if writing about yourself, a photo.




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