Delia Rawdon finds herself in West Hollywood

The city of West Hollywood has been a mecca for the queer community for decades. People flocked to WEHO in hopes of finding acceptance, community, nightlife, and fulfilling their dreams. I was one of those people living in a red state, hoping that one day I too would be able to make a living in it. loud and proud. This is the story of how I ended up at WEHO…

It was 2016 and I was drinking myself to death just outside of Orlando, Florida. At the time, alcohol helped ease the pain of hiding in the closet, but I was tired of living that life. I knew it was time to come out into the world and start transitioning into the woman I am today. The place I lived in had few resources for transgender people and was far from a welcoming atmosphere for me to come out. So I came up with a plan, and the plan was simple. I would do it to everyone I knew, from family to friends and, of course, on social media. Then I would have a coming out party. Then I would fly to LA, go to LA Pride, and then vacation at WEHO where I would live full-time as my authentic self.

As liberating as it was, coming out was not only difficult but rather embarrassing. He often encountered a series of sensitive and sometimes inappropriate questions. I quickly realized that the more I talked to people about it, the easier it was to talk about it. I got to the point where I was done asking for acceptance and instead, I was letting them know: this is who I am. Some people understood, others didn't, and still others never spoke to me again. I know now that for every person who leaves my life, I have gained ten more who cherish me for exactly who I am. For those of you who haven't done it yet, trust me, it gets easier, life gets better and one day coming out will be a distant memory.

With the world around me now knowing I was going to transition, it was time to have a coming out party. A few friends and I went to Orlando's biggest gay club, Parliament House, to party and dance the night away. My coming out party was eight years ago today, June 12, 2016. Throughout that evening, we could hear emergency vehicle sirens echoing in the distance. The night of my coming out party, 29-year-old Omar Mateen shot and killed 49 people in a mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub, a few miles from where I was. After leaving Parliament, I went to the airport to catch a plane to Los Angeles. On all the televisions in the airport, the news was giving updates on the Pulse shooting. The very evening I was to celebrate my release, I found myself terrified by the decision I had made.

I boarded the plane, took a well-deserved nap, and hoped that tomorrow would be a better day. At the time, I had never been to a Pride Parade, so I was excited to go to the Los Angeles Pride Parade. I woke up just as we landed at LAX. I wanted to have breakfast before leaving for the festivities. At breakfast, I noticed a television in the corner showing the news. It says a man with an arsenal of weapons and explosives was arrested during the Los Angeles Pride parade. I was in shock, I was in disbelief. Was the world giving me a sign? I wanted to get out, I wanted to transition, but what price am I really willing to pay for that? Was it worth my life? When given the opportunity to hold my head high, I turned and ran. Fearing what would happen to me, I didn't go to LA Pride. Instead, I went down to Carlsbad to regroup. Over the next week, I drank, surfed, and kept my head down. I was afraid to wear the dresses, makeup and wigs I had brought with me.

The following weekend after LA Pride, I decided it was time to give it a try. I had to free myself and see who I really am. I stayed in a room at the Ramada West Hollywood on Santa Monica Blvd. I vividly remember sitting on my bed for what seemed like hours, looking at my suitcase, looking at a dress I was so excited to wear, thinking: am I willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice to finally to be myself ? At one point it hit me like a freight train. I would rather die being myself than live as a shell of myself. I wanted to be loved for exactly who I am instead of being surrounded by people who don't really know me. I put on my dress, got ready for the day, and walked out into a whole new world. I stood on Santa Monica Blvd, in the center of WEHO, thousands of miles from home, excited because I was finally in a world of endless possibilities. The only question was: what should I do next?

A few blocks away is Hamburger Marys. When we arrived there was a local magazine. In the front pages, there was an article about Trans Pride LA at the Los Angeles LGBT Center in North McCadden. It started in an hour. I was in awe! I literally had no idea Trans Pride existed. These people actually celebrated Trans Lives. I ate my burger, took an Uber, and headed to Trans Pride. Over the next few hours, I met more transgender people than I had in my entire life. There was a wealth of information, programs and documents. It was exactly what I needed; This is exactly what I was looking for; that's exactly why I came to Los Angeles. I met two people who would change my life forever. One was Gina Bigham, program manager at the Los Angeles LGBT Center's Trans Lounge, and the other was television producer and actress Zackary Drucker. Gina Bigham gave me the tools and inspiration to pursue activism and educational outreach to the transgender community. It gave me a new purpose and opened doors. It made me want to want to make sure that no one else had to put their head down, that no one had to run away. Because this is who I am, and I could finally stand up straight. Zackary Drucker took a picture of me and asked if I was interested in playing.

I myself spent a week wandering around WEHO without any excuse. I started to feel good about myself. Unfortunately, my trip was over and it was time to return to Florida. When I returned, I was full of energy. This trip was exactly what I needed. As I began my transition, I realized I no longer needed to drink. A vice I once had was something I no longer needed in my life. Several months later, I received an email from the production of “Transparent” asking if I wanted to be a background actor in an episode. I was over the moon and flew to Los Angeles just to be a part of the magic. On set I met a funny guy who put me on his TV show. There I met a woman who put me in a film. Everything was falling into place. The more I settled into who I was, the more people accepted me. I made so many connections, friends, and memories that I moved to Los Angeles with my family a few months later.

Eight years ago today, I was afraid to go to LA Pride. This summer alone, I attended four different Pride celebrations around Los Angeles. I will never let the hatred and fear of others distract me from my path. Honestly, I think part of my purpose on this earth is to educate others in hopes that no one has to hide in the closet, no one has to commit suicide to death. I'm just one of thousands of people who flock to WEHO every year to just be themselves. Being part of the vibrant queer nightlife, being part of the community and living openly. My name is Delia Danae Rawdonand that’s how I ended up at WEHO.

In memory of those who lost their lives in the Pulse massacre.