Doom, gloom and a whole lot of nothing: why is House of the Dragon so painfully boring? | Dragon House

WWhen House of the Dragon arrived in 2022, it promised the kind of epic television that's been missing since Game of Thrones, to which it is a prequel. The Targaryens! Dragons! Matt Smith in an icy blonde wig! Event TV was about to make its fiery return. Almost 10 million people watched the first episode in the United States, making it the most-watched HBO series premiere of all time. But he barely managed to cough up a smoke ring, let alone set the small screen on fire.

We were stuck between a rock (Dragonstone) and a hard place (Kings Landing) for most of the series. The scenes were so dimly lit that an eye exam had to be booked. And the franchise quickly lost its raunchy reputation. In short: it was extremely boring, no match for its giant sister.

That said, the out-loud season finale in which Aemonds' one-eyed dragon Vaghar engulfs the small dragon Arrax in the air and causes young Lucerys to fall to his death suggests that after a slow start to the world's setup and alliance building, a show beast was about to be unleashed. After all, GoT only Really began after Ned's shock death near the end of the first season.

So here we are, two episodes into season two and we're still waiting.

The beginnings are promising: the Westeros equivalent of the Bayeux Tapestry in the new opening credits was exciting, as was arriving at Winterfell for the first time (hooray!) and meeting a Stark (double hooray!) at the Wall, a taste, perhaps. , new world travels to come, essential. But the Stark boy quickly ruined the moment with this painfully serious line: They will fight hard like the Northerners. Things deteriorated quickly.

The first hour was spent explaining what was happening in the seven hells, and yet some of us still had to rewatch three times to understand because at least seven characters have the same name and they seem to multiply. Even as that becomes clearer, the next big, much bigger problem is that it's hard to care about any of them.

The marketing team is pitching a Greens vs. Blacks matchup, but neither team is worth rooting for. Without a clear case of good versus evil, we need a more intriguing group to root for: no one wanted the Lannisters to win, but they were exciting to watch. Everyone here is as boring, petty, and morally ambiguous as each other. There's a lot of talk, but where are the clever storylines? There is not a single exciting character, hero or villain.

Rhaenyra, whose look at last season's climax vowed to unleash hellish vengeance, mopes over a dragon for most of the opening episode. The new king of the Iron Throne, Aegon, is neither more nor less a kid. Alicent has lukewarm sex between the two, rolling her eyes at the men around her (the most notable thing about the oral sex scene was that she is wearing small wedge heels). Even Daemon has lost his vile and problematic look.

The most pathetic character in Westeros, however: Ser Criston Cole, a sulky, vapid hypocrite who can't handle rejection and is too weak to stop breaking his knight's oath by bashing queens while constantly accusing others of failing to their duties to the crown. I just want to slap him away like a fly so someone else can use the screen time. It's fun to hate characters, but this man is a tumbleweed, give me a bad egg worthy of my wrath (Joffrey).

Anyway, things improved when Blood and Cheese, a gold cloak, and a rat catcher managed to wander into the private royal halls (one of many questionable moments: this is a paranoid palace protected by dragons) and to behead Aegon's heir, Jaehaerys (for not being). confused with Jaehaera or Jacaerys) in front of his mother, Helaena. It was horrible. It was breathtaking. This led to another hour of mourning for another brutally murdered child we barely knew.

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What followed was even more catastrophic, darker and a whole lot of nothing. After saying she wanted Aemond dead (literally her only line so far), Rhaenyra is inexplicably dismayed when she learns that Daemon ordered the murder of a son. And the fatal sword fight between twin brothers Erryk and Arryk when one of them (I really can't figure out which one) tries to assassinate Rhaenyra? No one cares especially when a single vowel is the only thing worth noting about them.

Cringe-inducing writing (the scene where Helaena warns the rats in the palace was so bad), lack of a single likeable character (GoT was actually funny, which laughed at a single line from HotD ?) and a constantly oppressive atmosphere (no more plot that doesn't involve the murder of children, please) left me cold. When will the dragon's fire bring warmth?

Reviewers who have seen the first four episodes promise that the real action will begin soon, with some CGI dragon action payoff, but what a drag to get there. I hope we also see more of Winterfell or anywhere that isn't gray. Maybe it never would have lived up to GoT, but it's the crucial little things that are missing: humor, heart, and heroes. They may have turned on the lighting, but now that we can see them properly, it would be great to feel something for them too.