Does UG have any national heroes? Oba, it's just vibrations

You know, life threw me somewhere in the streets of Makati a few weeks ago. It was only fitting that the name Ortega be used in a country colonized by many inhabitants of the great Philippine archipelago.

And while I was here, I was overwhelmed by the kindness, the pleasant atmosphere, you know Filipinos feel like a big family. How these more than 7,000 islands achieve this is a miracle! Of course, I also had to deal with rice on rice. That’s when I started missing this variety of carbohydrates in the Ugandan diet. Regardless, a lot has happened and as the saying goes, the rule of Chatham House reigns supreme.

But friends, one thing I can't hide from you is my new hero: Jos Protasio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda. His name is a whole paragraph long, but a hero's name needs to be mentioned in full. Some of you may be complaining now, but hey, your heroic acts of sneaking bullets into conference rooms don't count here. Or your ability to slip a fast 10K ka into the hands of officers doesn't count. I'm talking about Joze Rizal. This man was a writer and a mathematician. He is considered by all as the national hero of the Philippines.

Gwe, there is even an entire park dedicated to him. His book Noli Me Tangere, translated as Don't Touch Me, laid the foundation for the revolution. And today, we have the great nation of the Philippines. A happy and hardworking people. I tell you, there is no other place where a black face feels comfortable and at home on the streets than in Manila or Makati. Believe me, guys, I have tested this black face in different environments. Not in Europe, not even in other African countries, maybe we should all be Filipinos. And by the way, you don't need a visa to go and share these beautiful people, these beautiful islands.

Now, when I thought of Rizal, I asked myself: who is the national hero or heroine of Uganda? I know we have this Heroes Day, but who knows these heroes? Who is this person for whom the general consensus agrees that he is the national hero? Okay, I know some people here mention Jose Chameleone. But maybe musically, but then again, even Chameleone, he didn't really make the most of his talent. Someone says mbu in Uganda we are easily satisfied. Small acts of greatness and we start stepping on people's heads. Why do we arrive in this country so early? We always look forward to celebrating and becoming motivational speakers. It doesn't rain on your celebratory parades, but what are we celebrating in poverty?

Another person mentioned Mbu the director, that old man in the hat. Leave me alone for now, I still have offspring to father. But really? No, as long as I still inhale dust when I leave my house, temulina kyemutugamba. Now who is left? The guy from Hoozambe? The Mubanda wa Kabaka? Obote? Oba Bebe Cool and full figure? For example, which individual has the greatest influence on the Ugandan psyche?

Anyway, I made it back in time for the truck removal event. Rumour has it that in future, June 22 will now be a public holiday. Mbu on that day, demons were exorcised and a truck was moved. Ugandans can believe certain things. Just know that if you want to scare your enemies in Uganda, just ask them: Mumanyi gyenava? Now, people like me who have relatives spread all over the country, sometimes I claim my Nkokonjeru powers, you don't know our Kyaggwe skills, other times, I say to myself don't mess with the Luo-Babiito in me and other times, well, it's not too late to claim Cwezi ancestry. Ela in future, I now adopt the title Kojja. I just need a scary name to go with the title, like Kojja Taluma Nebaluma.

But people, the ki-truck has moved. And now the road seems so lonely. Mbu from time to time at night, people hear moaning, while the truck shouts to the residents. That he was kidnapped, that he was expelled from his land.

Life in Kwegamba has moved at a frenetic pace. People even said that Ugandans were chickens at heart. But we cannot protest. You people, we have protested. Some of us have protested since Shimoni, when I played the famous line from Oliver Twist. Did the cook ever add posho to me? Never. Even in Kitovu, the cooks did not hear me plead for more grain. And recently, we had a big protest against the transport money. Just because we do not protest in your way does not mean we are not serious about it. For us in Uganda, we have found new ways to protest. But a part of me senses things, senses things in the collective unconscious. Too soon, too soon, the rains come. The Rizals emerge!