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Meat Loaf develops a relationship competition

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Meatloaf in 2013

Meatloaf in 2013
Photo: David Becker (Getty Images)

In this world where everything is either superheroes or lazy and cheap, we can shoot that on Zoom! bullshit, it’s good when an idea comes up that’s right fucking big. We were talking about ideas that prove that there is an art to entertaining people, that not all media has to be the kind of throwaway garbage that you put in the background while you do other things. This story isn’t about any of those ideas, but damn, that’s of course when this sort of thing happens.

Anyway, Deadline said that Meat Loaf has teamed up with production company Nobodys Herobest known for Netflix I have arrived!to create a series of relationship competitions called I would do anything for love but I won’t do that (yes, like the song) where couples go head-to-head in a variety of comedic physical games that test how much they actually trust each other. It will all be set to a soundtrack of classic hits, with Meat Loaf as executive producer and serving as the ethereal figure behind the madness (imagined the Banker of Deal or No Deal, but he wears one frilly poet shirts, it is absolutely worthless without Jim Steinman backing it, and he is close with this bad family we don’t talk about here anymore).

In a statement, Nobodys Heros Christopher Potts and Jonty Nash said their goal is to make shows that are fun, clever, and buzzing, but two out of three aren’t bad, with Meat Loaf adding, You took the words straight away. my mouth . Credit where credits are due: it’s pretty funny. But why stop at Id Do Anything For Love (but I won’t) when Meat Loaf has a decades-long career of ballads that could be turned into TV shows? It is The AV club, so obviously were just going to riff on that now.

Bat Out Of Hell: It could be a American ninja warrior-style of obstacle course, with competitors trying to escape the devil and find their beloved. Maybe they could take the motorcycle course, but I would do anything for love It’s really just riffing on the title, not the content of the song, so it seems to be cheating to bring in motorcycles or tunnels where mortals ride or a young boy starting to foam in the heat. (Besides, what does this mean?)

Paradise by the dashboard light: It could be another dating show, maybe with a hidden camera so the contestants don’t know they’re on a TV show, and they’re stuck in a car until they agree to break up. and get married. There could be a legally binding element where they are contractually obligated to stay together for eternity if that’s what they choose. Each episode may have gunmen who verification on the previous contestants to see if they’re still in love, and if not, they’re sent to the Phil Rizzutos Pressure Cooker where they must try to survive the terrifying Suicide Squeeze. (Again, however, these are the lyrics of the song.)

Two in three is not bad: A trivia game, of course, where contestants have to answer three trivia questions. If they get none, one or three, nothing happens. If they get two good ones, Meat Loaf (who will host this one) says two out of three aren’t bad with a little shrug. There are no winners or prizes.

Rock and roll dreams come true: It might be kind of a song contest, but it’s a bit on the nose. Maybe it’ll be a drama series about a runaway teenage girl (Angelina Jolie) who is guided through a dark, gritty world by some sort of magical jukebox while saving people’s lives with rock music. Then, in the end, even though she has now learned the fantastic life-changing power of rock ballads, she returns to live with her wicked parents. In fact, it’s just the plot of the music video.

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