Dear Amy: I am in my 50s and have been married four times.
I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.
I abused substances for 35 years.
I’ve been clean for three years now and my life today is beyond my wildest dreams.
I have mended my life’s relationship with my family and have made strong friendships today with people I have met recovering and at work.
I go to church and I am a completely new person.
My old life was dark and suicidal, but my new life is beautiful and positive.
I did a lot of work on myself, with the help of therapy and AA.
I believe that I am the best version of myself today, but I am concerned about people judging me by my past life.
How to start dating and explain four divorces?
Who would want to try their luck with a guy with such a hectic past life?
Should I talk about it on a first date? Should I wait for someone to ask me?
Dear Stormy: Congratulations on your continued recovery. It is truly inspiring.
You have already persuaded four women to trust you, over the years. All you have to do is figure out how to do it, sober.
The way to date is to start doing it! Tiptoe in the shallow end of the dating pool, with the help and support of your sponsor and sober community.
Coffee and / or lunch dates are the current norm for meeting new people.
If your partner chooses to drink alcohol, you need to tell him or her that you are not drinking because you are a recovering alcoholic. The. It is an obstacle crossed.
In my opinion, four divorces are not a hot topic. Your first date should be about covering more superficial basics and doing a lot of listening.
You have every good reason to take things very slowly. Additional drama can be an unhealthy trigger.
If you are considering a deeper relationship you should tell her that I have a very difficult relationship history and I think it is the only right for me to tell you about it, so that you can make your own choice with your eyes wide open.
Dear Amy: I need your opinion to know if I’m cheap or if my logic makes sense. When I order a mixed drink at a bar in my hometown, it can cost me around $ 4.
I’ll usually leave a dollar on the bar.
While on vacation, I paid up to $ 12 for this same mixed drink. I know tipping 20% is standard practice, but the bartender in both cases spent the exact amount of effort filling a glass with ice, pouring a glass of alcohol, and then topping up with soda. Am I cheap in thinking that a dollar on the bar is appropriate?
Dear Tipper: Let’s test your logic: The servers at Brews and Bones in my hometown take my order, come and go to the kitchen, visit the table several times, and receive a generous $ 10 tip on a bill totaling $ 40.
Next, I visit The Fancy Restaurant in Chicago, where the waiters take my order, come and go to the kitchen, and come to the table on several occasions. This person spent about the same effort as the waiters at Brews and Bones and so, using your logic, I’ll also tip them a generous $ 10 on a bill totaling $ 125.
Waiters and bartenders in Chicago (or your vacation destination) probably have much higher expenses. Bartenders rely heavily on tips to earn a reasonable wage and often share their tips with barbacks or other support staff.
Readers: tip generously!
According to an article on tips in Food and Wine Magazine, the base standard for tips is $ 1 for a beer, $ 2 minimum for a mixed drink (wherever you are), and 20% if you go up a tab. .
Dear Amy: Half grateful, half frustrated, described her husband’s method of unloading the dishwasher. She said he left clean dishes and utensils on the counter, along with dirty things.
I really don’t agree with your opinion that she confronts him about this. She probably terrified him about where to put things properly.
Dear upset: I have received a large number of responses to this question and most of the respondents agree with you. I find this confusing. Long-married couples should be able to talk about practical matters without fear of being labeled a hangman.
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