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Marti Attoun: Fashion prediction for this winter: Baggy with flare | Lifestyles




I can’t help but read fashion forecasts every January on what’s hot and what’s not for the coming year.

Inevitably, if skinny jeans are hot, then I’m wading into a pair with enough flare to house a family of cats. And if bell bottoms and baggy jeans are hot, then I just broke a shoehorn trying to muzzle my thighs into a skimpy pair.

My track record is the same for household decoration trends. If minimalist decorating with a few curated pieces of furniture is in, then I guarantee I live in a house that looks like a Goodwill distribution warehouse.

But it’s always fun to read what Vogue says about wearing well in 2022:

Catsuits These skintight onesies can be worn with heels for a formal look or sneakers for a casual trip to the supermarket or walking around the cul-de-sac I guess. Catsuits are such a statement piece, according to the fashion forecaster, they require minimal styling and are the perfect option if you’re feeling a bit lazy.

Because I’m not a toddler, Cher or the cat in the hat, I’m going to skip the catsuit.

Bras like shirts Vogue attributes this microtrend to the world’s new post-pandemic tastes for subtle sexiness.

Another trend I’m going to ignore, as it would get tiring to carry around a cordless heater. It wouldn’t be subtle either.

Bold and creative bangs Not the soft, swinging stuff on the lampshades, but what’s described as car wash straps made of thick belts that drape across the floor.

I haven’t seen those fringed garments at Kohls, and I doubt old fag Sister Rosie could sew through hog-hair car wash brushes, so I’m going to skip that trend too.

Plaid Micro Mini Skirts These tiny skirts are the length of dryer sheets, so unless they’re fringed with ankle-length car wash straps, I’ll skip them too.

Beads and berets Fashion pros swear these chic accessories add a touch of sophistication to any outfit.

So I guess I’ll try wearing faux pearls with my Big Smith dungarees this year and see if I look fancy or not.

Marti Attouns Stand 186: My Secondhand Career in Vintage Corsets, Moose Heads and Other Moth-Eaten Antiques, is available as an e-book on Amazon.




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