Why do men keep trying to hit on me? –Chicago Tribune

Dear readers: Before leaving at the end of the month, I go through my files and choose some of my favorite “vintage” columns over the years. The following questions and answers are both from 2020.

Dear Amy: This is a “trivial” subject that has bothered me for years.

My parents own the original Trivial Pursuit game, from around 1983.

At various meetings, my mother will bring out this relic and enthusiastically try to rally us around a good old “general knowledge” game.

I feel like she should up her game, at least towards a game this century. We go around in circles, arguing about obviously outdated questions, which parents insist must be answered in the vernacular of the correct answer, in 1983.

Any suggestions to update, or at least omit blatantly false answers, fall on deaf ears.

I am so infuriated by their childish behavior and refusal to update me that I simply refuse to participate.

We used to enjoy family camaraderie, but it seems ridiculous to me now, when most of these issues are no longer relevant.

Any suggestions?

– J.C.

Dear JC: Your family's childish behavior may have been passed down to the next generation. You pout.

Your parents are rooted in this particular tradition. They want to recreate moments of conviviality. I suggest you try harder to laugh about it, in a good-natured way, putting it in the category of bad “dad jokes,” your Aunt Marjory's molded Jell-O salad, and other groan-inducing reminders of family traditions that seem absurd, silly or unnecessary.

Instead of trying to replace this game, you could try introducing a new game, which would be retired once all the questions about the Reagan administration and Madonna's career had been answered and all the pieces of the cake had been Trivial Pursuit would have been played. There are many fun board games that don't focus on trivia, but still encourage conversation and laughter.

I assure you, if you don't laugh about it now, you will regret it later. One day (hopefully in the future), you and your siblings will go through your parents' belongings. You will remove this well-worn relic and argue over who gets to keep it.

Dear Amy: I am a happily married, middle-aged woman with a wonderful husband. We have a connection that others spend their lives trying to find, and we are both extremely grateful.

I'm not sociable and I'm not conscious of my appearance.

I never wear makeup. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Plus, I'm a little overweight. I don't fit the typical “girly” stereotypes.

Considering all of this, why do men continually try to hit on and chat me up?

I grew up with two older brothers and used to have platonic male friends of all types throughout my life.

I talk about my wonderful life and my relationship with my husband, and that doesn't seem to stop these men from hitting on me.

What am I doing wrong? And why me?

– Tired of being hit

Dear Patient: You are doing nothing wrong. Your crime is attempting to move through the world minding your own business.

“Girly” women who wear makeup and feminine clothes are not asking to be hit on. Women who wear jeans and T-shirts aren't asking to be hit on either. Women who jog, bike, walk their dog, or chat with their friends aren't asking to be hit on.

I have one caveat, however. I grew up in freezing New England, where people tend not to talk to people they don't already know. But I spend part of the year in New Orleans, a city where the people are so outgoing and so friendly that it's almost off-putting. And yes, it often happens that strange men call me and comment about my hair, my clothes or pressure me to “smile more”, grossly intruding into my comfort zone. But sometimes they also just say “Hello!” » It can be difficult to decode the difference between someone who is friendly and someone who is trying to “chat with you.”

In my opinion, you should never go far enough in a conversation with a strange man to talk about your wonderful husband. Men who pick up random women are playing a power game: they don't care if you're married.

Dear Readers: In July, R. Eric Thomas will launch a new advice column, “Asking Eric.”

You can send your questions to [email protected].

(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)