Fashion
I feel like the men I date won't like my completely unfiltered self
You literally said you didn't think you were compatible.
My friend was trying to make me feel better about this guy I had been going on dates with. It was true. At the time, I said we were very different. To have a fun time, not long. He wanted to go bird watching, which isn't my thing, and he still looked slightly terrified. When I saw him out, we never really spent much of the night together because he's quiet and intense, and I'm bouncing around, overexcited, talking to everyone and talking to no one. We were on such different wavelengths that we would never end up getting together. I hated myself for it afterwards. I should have focused more on him, slowed down. When we spoke, I was too cautious. We could have found common ground, gotten closer to each other.
You don't love her the way you loved her and then she mentioned this guy. I'm obviously not going to say the name from here. She was right. I liked this other guy SO a lot, but when I think about it, we're not really up to par either. The difference is that, while I couldn't imagine him loving someone like me, I changed, I saw myself potting plants and taking up cycling just to be with him. I thought if he just gave me a chance, I could be the girl he wanted, nostalgic and sweet, with a bias-cut skirt and a little top.
After that conversation with my friend, I started to wonder if I had ever loved someone since my ex loved them, really loved them or if I had just loved them, then my mind wandered. ran away with me, exaggerating our compatibility, embellishing certain looks and moments. , until they looked like someone I was meant for. It's hard to say, because most of the time these things only last a few dates and then fizzle out. I never get to the point where I'm truly myself with anyone. Even though I try to be my authentic self, it's difficult. I don't want to overdo it, so I censor things, like the fact that work is really shit right now, or that an argument with a friend is making me feel bad. It's me, yes, but a slightly filtered version. Like when reality TV stars say you shouldn't trust what you see on TV.
My ex and I were friends for years before we got together, and then we went out five more times, two of which were spent waking up in the same bed. We had chemistry when we met, but we also spent enough time together to figure out what made the other person tick. We had jokes, memories. Like the time we went to a sex club in Berlin because it was the only place we could find that was still open and there was a guy in there who looked so much like Karl Marx.
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Sources 2/ https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/being-yourself-when-dating The mention sources can contact us to remove/changing this article |
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