Are millennial men masculine? | Psychology today

Considerable attention has recently been given to masculinity, the way in which men declare themselves physically, psychologically and socially masculine and whether this masculinity is beneficial or harmful to life in today's world. My question is whether young heterosexual millennial men endorse traditional masculinity, sometimes called toxic masculinityor something else?

To answer this question, I surveyed 130 young heterosexual men aged 18 to 23 (mean age = 20.0) about, among other things, their degree of masculinity. Several points were almost universal.

1. None indicated that they possessed a significant degree of femininity, although some admitted to having several characteristics that others might define as feminine.
2. It was not uncommon for young men to desire more masculinity, but not the toxic or traditional variety.
3. Almost all rejected the idea that they are classically masculine in reference to their physical appearance and style of being in the world because they are not muscular men, are not good at sports and that they don't look like alphas.
4. Related to the above, all described themselves in a way that evoked a new masculinity and related it to themselves (see below).

Caleb

Caleb considers himself masculine in many ways, but he sees fault lines that he wants to work on.

I feel like I've had my fair share of emotional struggles and so I consider myself emotionally and mentally strong. I'm an explorer and have had more than my share of wilderness environments, which I like to believe has given me a worldly, masculine perspective and made me a knowledgeable person when it comes to wilderness environments. Lately, I've been striving to feel more validated. I wish I was more socially successful and could have a more masculine presence in social circles.

Cameron

Cameron describes himself as slightly masculine because he doesn't really care what I wear, I work out a lot and I'm very interested in sports. Plus, after he wakes up, he doesn't spend much time getting ready in the morning and doesn't care what others think I look like.

Malik

Malik gives himself an 8.5 out of 10 when it comes to masculinity, although he defines it in his own way. I am not passionate and I am not obsessed with pointless entertainment like professional sports. However, I am comfortable with myself, I can be independent and I have a decent brain in my head on my shoulders. I am comfortable with my ability to cook, clean, sew, be creative and non-homophobic.

James

James considers himself semi-masculine in that he has a good physique, likes competition and knows how to compartmentalize. To be more masculine, he must be more decisive, less emotionally dependent on others and not always say what he thinks. James claims he is 100% heterosexual.

Gabriel

Gabriel gives himself a 6 out of 10 on masculinity. Tall, athletic, with the appearance of contemporary masculinity, he ranks considerably above average in sensation seeking, openness to new experiences, emotional stability, and life satisfaction. He is both masculine and not.

I care a lot about my hair. I very rarely cry but when I do, it's after a haircut. I enjoy beer pong and the brotherly nature of college. I like playing sports and I like watching football. Fantasy football is one of my favorite things.

In the next sentence, Gabriel notes his non-traditional masculinity. He is not averse to developing deep, lasting friendships with men without fear of being labeled a queer. I realized that I'm not the bro or jock-y type and that a lot of guys at my high school were. I think being friends with girls is actually easier.

Jeff

Clean cut with a fraternity jersey, shaved eyebrows, Jeff calls himself moderately masculine.

I like most things men like, except sports, gambling and beer. I have short hair and sometimes let my facial hair grow, and my voice is deep. I never cry and I have never let my emotions or mood affect my daily responsibilities, my studies, or my relationships with my friends. Physically, I always wanted to be taller and more muscular. I also have several traits probably more common in women, such as obsessive-compulsive tendencies, a lot of introspection, excessive sensitivity to insults, and an academic interest in human sexuality and literature.

Lee

Very masculine, appearing in Nike shorts, a long UConn Huskies jersey and muscular, Lee is quite candid and philosophical about his personality characteristics.

Usually, honestly, yes, masculine, although sometimes I don't, like I don't know. Like I was shopping and looking at a bunch of clothes and a lot of outfits. I write songs sometimes. I play lacrosse, I joke with friends, I pretend to fight, I'm very active. No desire to be more masculine. I live and have balance.

Summary

Few young men strive to be normal man. On the contrary, most create their own idiosyncratic masculinity And virility. Here are examples:

• I hate violence, battles, Dungeons and Dragons, fighting, I hate everything.
• I do what others consider feminine and I have no problem with it, like modern dance.
• I help people and give advice. The best form of masculinity is to be a good father.
• I think I'm more sensitive than most men, who most people wouldn't call masculine.
• I connect very well emotionally with women and have many long-standing friendships because of it. Usually, I'm a very good listener. My passion for learning and proximity is not very masculine either.

Many young men describe themselves as prototypes sensitive men in tune with the new masculinity of their millennial generations. They understand sex as a delicate affair, which involves juggling several competing desires (arousal and respect) while appreciating the emotional needs of a potential sexual partner. As one young man succinctly put it, I have no desire to be more masculine. I'm happy with who I am. I just wish I had gotten laid.