Bride Goes Viral After Demoting Her Maid of Honor Because She Didn't Buy a Dress

While weddings mark the beginning of a new chapter for you and your partner, they can also test your interpersonal relationships, especially with members of the bridal party like bridesmaids and groomsmen. Case in point? A bride is now wondering if she made the right choice after refusing to pay for her bridesmaid's dress and then replacing it during the ceremony. job On the Am I the A_____ subreddit, a September bride explained that after taking her bridal party shopping, her maid of honor decided she no longer wanted to pay for her dress.

Since the shopping trip was out of town, the bride drove and paid for her maid of honor, bridesmaids, and mother to stay at a local hotel. Then, when it came to dress shopping, she gave the group pretty much free rein. “For dresses, my only requirement was that they be a specific color blue and not satin,” the bride says. “We spent the entire afternoon trying on dresses, and everyone found one they liked, including my maid of honor. I’m told she picked a $350 dress, while most of my other bridesmaids had dresses in the $100 to $150 range.”

The next day, the bride-to-be learned that her best friend and maid of honor had spent the day complaining to the other bridesmaids about having to pay for her dress herself. The friend didn’t bring it up with the bride until a month later. My maid of honor called me and asked me to buy her dress for her, she wrote. I told her it wouldn’t be fair if I bought her dress and no one else’s and that I couldn’t afford to buy everyone else’s dress. She said she was the maid of honor and everyone would understand that it was a privilege she had. I disagreed and our argument got a bit heated. I ended up telling my wife that if she couldn't have the dress, she couldn't be at the wedding and I didn't budge on that. She hung up on me.

The bridesmaid’s mother even called the bride to ask her to reconsider paying for the dress. Her mother has since called me saying I was very rude for not doing this one thing for her so she could be there on my wedding day and that I didn’t understand what it was like to not have money for things, she added. The woman was steadfast in her decision saying the friend had known about her wedding for two years and should have saved up for her dress. Eventually, she decided to make another bridesmaid, who was instrumental in planning the wedding, her maid of honor. I told my ex-husband she was still invited and sent him an invitation, but some of my family members tell me I should have just paid for the dress, she mused.

The post immediately sparked conversation, garnering over 700 comments and 4,000 upvotes since it was shared nine days ago. Redditors agreed that the bride isn't wrong in this situation. If she really wanted to be in your wedding, she would have saved $100 to $150 over a two-year period, the top comment reads. Clearly, her desire was to get an expensive dress that she wouldn't have to pay for. As for her mother's comment, it sounds like you're happy to welcome her to your big day — just not as a bridesmaid who won't be paying for her dress.

Some people acknowledged that it's not uncommon for a bride to pay for her bridal party's outfits. It's common to buy your own bridesmaid/flower girl dress, so if she can't afford to be at the wedding (which is understandable if money is an issue), it's perfectly fine to replace it, another person added. In my opinion, it was a bit rude of her to complain about the dress to others when it was something she could have said to you one-on-one, which makes me wonder if she really has money issues or if she just didn't want to buy the dress. Either way, you made the right decision. Another user felt that this issue was a communication issue. “I declined to be a bridesmaid because I don’t want to spend a few thousand dollars on someone else’s wedding,” they explained. “I’d rather attend as a guest. I’ve been a bridesmaid twice and it was paid. People need to have boundaries and priorities for their own pockets. If I can’t afford it without hurting myself, then the answer is no. She should have said no, or explained that if she did, she would need help. Communication is key here. What do you think?”