DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our wedding was called off, but we still got married at the town hall. My husband and I are planning to hold the reception next year, once things are sorted out.
I really want to have the father-daughter dance and have the chance to wear my wedding dress. We are planning to stage photos. We are not asking for gifts, only the participation of family and friends.
We have had some hindsight; people say that will be “wrong” and that it is sticky for me to wear my dress after being married for a year.
We could have just postponed the wedding, but we had to get married for health care because my husband is sick and lost his job.
This review is very hurtful. I couldn’t ask my dad to come down the aisle with me and I want to dance with him. Are we out of line?
SOFT READER: Consider how this is viewed with regard to costume jewelry: it is only “fake” if it pretends to be what it is not. But it can be beautiful in itself if it really is.
Pretending that you and your husband are getting married wouldn’t only ask your guests to take part in a masquerade, it would also undermine the seriousness of the vows you actually took – as if they didn’t matter unless they were. be accompanied by the usual threshing. .
Still, Miss Manners – and, she assumes, the people who care about you – might be affected by your sentimentality if it is frankly stated. You can’t make formal invitations out of them, so when the time comes, write a letter explaining the delay in receiving people you’re inviting people to.
It would be something like, “Not having been able to celebrate our wedding with you last summer, Oliver and I ask for the pleasure of your company now that it is possible to meet safely at a reception.” We hope you will fulfill our desire to take advantage of some of the wedding customs that we have missed. When else can I wear my wedding dress? “
DEAR MISS MANNERS: If we had to put food on our glasses while wearing them, should we use a towel to clean them? Or another item, like a microfiber cloth or handkerchief?
This hasn’t happened to me in a public setting yet, but I’m curious if this question has a definitive answer.
SOFT READER: Would you like to tell Miss Manners how you propose to squirt your food on your glasses? Although she admires your caution in preparing for such a possibility, she cannot come up with a scenario.
Surely you know that when you squeeze a lemon on a dish, you have to aim for the juicy part down. And that you shouldn’t drop the meatballs in your soup from a great height. Or put too much zeal in your grapefruit.
But you wanted an answer. Okay. It is: Take off your glasses. Don’t just sit there with sauce dripping down your face, pretending nothing happened. If you can’t wipe them off discreetly, go to the bathroom and do it.
Please direct questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; to his email, [email protected]; or by regular mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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