Dylan Carlson co-wrote this piece.
This is the time of the year! Expect its five months past this time of year, but it’s finally time for us to really assess this class project. In a short month, we’ll get to basketball. But for now, we’re focusing on the most important part of Draft Night – the fashion.
Since at least 1994, Draft Night has been used to allow players to express themselves for the first time as a new member of a franchise. It doesn’t always work! Our two favorite outfits from last year, from Rui Hachimura and Garland of Darius, haven’t found as much success on the court, but there’s nothing going to stop us from enjoying our version of Oscar night.
Here’s our best and worst dressed of the 2020 NBA Draft:
Honorable mention – Payton pritchard, Boston Celtics
Although Pritchards’ outfit was terrible – he wore a white t-shirt, a black double-pocket open button, and gray chinos. It wasn’t quite business casual; he was more of a business cowboy. He gets honorable mention with a nod of his head because his whole family wore masks. Were in the middle of a pandemic, people.
N ° 5 – Devin Vassell, San Antonio Spurs
Vassell impressed us by sporting a brown tuxedo jacket. He paired the jacket with a black Steve Jobsian turtleneck and black pants to match. He managed to think differently without thinking too much differently, and that’s perfect for Gregg Popovich and RC Buford. It was as if Hugh Hefner was an attractive young black man who definitely respects women.
Number 4 – Saddiq Bey, Detroit Pistons
Mr Bey must have thought he was going to be drafted by Sacramento because he was wearing a purple plaid suit. Sadly he was drafted by the Pisto – wait… what’s worse about ending up in Detroit or Sacramento? Anyway, thank goodness he decided not to wear a print on his shirt. (Printing under print is a big no-no. Speaking to you, James wiseman.) He rocked a very tasteful chain over a plain black t-shirt, which showed a sophistication and maturity that matched his playing.
N ° 3 – Aaron Nesmith, Boston Celtics
We call forgery! What are the odds that Nesmith is wearing a green plaid suit just to be drafted by the Celtics? Whether kismet or Danny ainge called ahead to help her coordinate her outfit, Nesmith dropped our socks off (although Dylan was totally in the costume with moccasins and no socks appeared to be). He helped complement the muted evergreen plaid by pairing a dark green tie over a cream colored undershirt. One of the rules of Dylans is that you always get darker on the tie. The outfit was bold, yet sophisticated.
N ° 2 – Tyrese Haliburton, Kings of Sacramento
We have three words: Blue Floral Suit. In fact, we still have three words: Black Lives Matter. Ok, a few more words: 920 to the League. We thought the matching blue floral jacket and pants were flashy, but Haliburton really showed off by revealing the Black Lives Matter and 920 to the League messages written inside his jacket. The young man from Oshkosh took over his hometown and took the opportunity to remind the world that, yes, black lives really matter.
N ° 1 – Tyrese Maxey, Philadelphia 76ers
SOURCES: Because of this stellar outfit, Tyrese Maxey preemptively signed his second contract, which is said to be worth around $ 75 million over four years. The tweed over tweed over tweed was worth the risk. He’s been mature and that means business. Morey goes from one of the most flamboyant (and well) dressed carpenters of all time to a man with the style of a 1960s British detective who is the pinnacle of high fashion. And after Morey’s roller coaster ride over the past two years, I think he’s ready for a defensive-minded leader who puts business first.
Honorable mention – Isaac okoro, The Cleveland Cavaliers
Okoro wore an oversized bright red blazer with a black shirt underneath that had BOTH INDONE TOP BUTTONS WITH NARY A HAIR IN SIGHT. NO-KORO, NO. Was it even a jacket or was it actually Annie’s dress? Fortunately, his father wore a beautiful blue three-piece suit, with a red bow tie to match his boy. Papa Okoros’ elegant style and beaming smile saved his son from our last five.
N ° 5 – Anthony edwards, Minnesota Timberwolves
We love Anthony Edwards so much. We’re so happy he’s on the Minnesota Timberwolves. But we don’t like the look. He wore a black letterman over a graphic t-shirt and ripped jeans. What, was he planning to go to the club after the draft? Well, maybe. Bars are probably still open in Georgia. Just because you rap like Lil Baby doesn’t mean you have to dress like a little baby.
# 4 – James Wiseman, Golden State Warriors
So, James, you clearly thought you were going to Charlotte. You wore a blue-green check pattern on your suit, fine. But THEN you thought it was a good idea to add a 90s Charlotte print on your T-shirt. Overall, the t-shirts were a big loser overnight, but this one was particularly offensive. Everything was way too busy, and I couldn’t tell if you were going on a scotch tasting pub crawl or trying to redeem Digimon cards. Also, please – everyone entering the league – make sure you have a good hat-wearing strategy.
No. 3 – Leandro Bolmaro, Minnesota Timberwolves
Bolmaro made this list for a reason: jeans. And, oof, those jeans were ugly. He hit us with loose, medium wash jeans that looked like Target, learned he was coming to Minnesota and preemptively gave him a Massimo sponsorship. We are so disappointed that two Timberwolves made the worst dressed list. Luckily, DAngelo Russell should be able to teach them a thing or ten about fashion.
N ° 2 – Cole anthony, Orlando Magic
He was surrounded by his family (and Spike Lee) as he followed in his father’s footsteps and began his journey in the NBA. It was a beautiful scene, a scene started by a golden snakeskin jacket. How many golden snakes must have died for that horrible jacket? Plus you are a wealthy New Yorker, why did you have the worst WiFi connection of all rookies? Cmon bro.
N ° 1 – Malachi Flynns the whole family
One of the worst things that can happen to a person is to be embarrassed on national television. Worse yet, an entire family is embarrassed on national television. Ladies and Gentlemen, we present to you, the Flynn family:
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. In the case of this image, they’re all bad. It turns out that everyone in the Flynns family is currently in a relationship with the Tiger King himself, Joe Exotic.
Here it is for you guys! What was more superficial: the talent pool or the fashion pool? Only time will tell.
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