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Colwell: No matter how you dress them, it’s time to roast those turkeys | Opinion




With Thanksgiving almost here, it’s time to present the annual Turkey of the Year awards.

Recipients can cry poultry. But even though they haven’t been turkeys all year, each winner has done something to earn this prestigious recognition.

Turkey of the Year Award for Political Timing goes to Pete Buttigieg. Pete won the Iowa caucuses the only time there was no national spotlight on the winner because results were delayed for weeks.

Kamala harris gets a turkey for winning an office that is often understated in importance.

Mike pence gets a turkey for losing an often underrated office.

Indiana Attorney General Curtis Hill receives a turkey for fumbling, this time for political relevance, with his letter criticizing St. Joseph County health officials for their anti-COVID efforts.

In local education, South Bend School Board member Leslie Wesley deserves a turkey for its unique way of warning students about plagiarism.

A turkey stuffed with thorns from the rose garden is presented to the Rev. John jenkins, President of Notre Dames, for doing what he urged students not to do, participating in a super-spreading celebration without masks or social distancing.

In promoting local businesses, the turkey goes to Dr Mark Fox. Health officials are advocating for COVID precautions to hurt the business of local hospitals and funeral homes.

Rudy Giuliani won the Turkey for Supporting Actor for his role in Borat.

The best actress in a supporting role? Kim kardashian for his role in Kanye West’s presidential campaign.

For legislative lobbying, a turkey goes to Types of Michigan militia for storming the Capitol building and standing threateningly in the legislative galleries with military-style weapons.

In the polls, the competition was fierce. The winner is a Washington Post / ABC News Poll find Joe Biden topping 17 points in Wisconsin.

Turkey of the Year for a political slogan goes to Defund the police.

A prize for counting his turkeys before they hatch goes to Democratic Senate Leader Chuck Schumer for warning Democrats could pack the Supreme Court.

In higher education, Jerry Falwell Jr. wins for losing his Liberty University presidency due to bizarre behavior not exactly adopted by evangelicals.

In sales, the turkey goes to Lysol for killing an opportunity touted as a cure for the coronavirus by stating: Under no circumstances should our disinfectants be administered into the human body.

Russians Vladimir Poutine gets a turkey for failing this time to help his candidate win.

For the return on the dollar, a turkey goes to Michael Bloomberg. He spent $ 1 billion on his own presidential campaign, winning only American Samoa, then paid over $ 100 million for Joe Biden in Florida, Ohio and Texas, says Biden lost.

A turkey for a choir line in St. Joseph County goes to Republican celebrants during an election night. Tribune and Elkhart Truth’s reporters and family were shot dead by COVID after the coverage. Celebrants ignored masks, social distancing and dance criticism.

In music, an award for a song of political approval goes to Taylor Swift. She lent her song Only the Young, not for a young candidate but for one who has just turned 78.

A turkey is in the mail for General Postmaster Louis DeJoy. With the mail delays it causes, the bird won’t be exactly fresh when it arrives.

In political analysis, Chasten Buttigieg gets the turkey for arguing in his book that the news media has spent too much time on the chicken sandwich issue, though it is huge in every state of the battlefield. Right there on pages 212-13.

In Mathematics, the Turkey of the Year Prize is awarded to President Trump for this virus, calculation on February 26: when you have 15 people and the 15 in a few days will be almost zero, it is a very good job that we have done. His calculations also did not match the Electoral College.

Jack Colwell is a columnist for The Tribune. Write to him at The Tribune or by email at [email protected]

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