Maria Bamford: I want to give Donald Trump a roundhouse in the bread basket | Comedy

In your memoir Of Course I'll Join Your Cult, you shared your personal email address explicitly encouraging people to send you complaints. Have you had any?

I received no complaints, only loving support. I received some beautifully written emails. It's really encouraging to know what human beings are capable of. I wonder if the people who criticize are all on my Instagram? They're always complaining about me on Twitter or whatever. These people don't want to read. But yeah, every once in a while I get an email and it's really lovely.

May I say, unrelated to this question, that I just donated $75 to the Guardian. They always tell me to do it, so I had to do it.

Thanks very much! Would you rather die at the bottom of the ocean or in space?

In the space. The ocean floor would be scary and it would take a long time because you would have to keep going deeper and deeper. Whereas in space, you would explode at some point, right? I saw the Fast and Furious movies, there was one where they went into space. I know it's not scientific, but I think space is a good bet.

Who is the most famous person on your phone?

Judd Apatow and/or Amy Schumer.

What is your least favorite bird and why?

I feel bad saying this, but crows. They all seem upset about something. And there are so many.

If you had to fight a famous person, who would it be, how would you fight them and who would win?

Clearly Donald Trump. I would like to give him a roundhouse in the bread basket. Like, he doesn't train at all. But he would know that if it came to a battle, it wouldn't be a surprise. It wouldn't be a fight to the death, but there would be a points system and definitively timed rounds. He would have a chance. This is just me saying: I'm available. I want a fair fight. I go to the gym three times a week, you know. I also think that my mere presence might make him uncomfortable.

What's the best advice you've ever received?

A lady came to see me when I was 20. I had just moved from Minneapolis to Los Angeles. She took me by the arm and said to me [grandly]: Life turns in no time! Which is really true in many horrible ways and in many beautiful ways.

What is the strangest thing you have done for love?

I moved to Australia for a year. It was obviously a bit of a manic decision. I was the most loving person, I think. But I went to the Melbourne comedy festival and met someone there. I wasn't medicated at the time either, so I thought moving would be great! And I lived in Adelaide for about a year. A deep boredom set in. But it's also really nice. It wasn't Adelaide's fault, but the relationship didn't work out.

If you had a sandwich named after you, what would it contain?

Tuna salad and iceberg lettuce on a soft roll. And maybe a sharp cheddar? And it would be toast. Now this would be called a tuna melt. But what I would call it, I would protect it and I would be really litigious about it, is the Maria.

What films had an impact on you throughout your life when you were a child?

Well, it wasn't when you were a kid, but have you seen Steven Spielberg's War Horse? What shit that was. A horse being dragged through barbed wire and then the whole fucking weird sentimental Irish thing, ugh, that made me so sick. I would have left but my parents brought me. I was in my thirties. You can't just leave. It was a terrible movie.

There is also a film called Joni, which tells the story of a young woman who is paralyzed after diving into shallow water. She made watercolors that she painted with a brush in her mouth and it was the happy ending. I remember it from my childhood, but I don't know if it left an impression on me. I just remember saying, Huh, that's cool.

Who do you want to play in the biopic about your life?

Godzilla. He's nice, but he's also so mad about it all. Everyone loves Godzilla, but they're also afraid of him.

Sources 1/ https://Google.com/ 2/ https://www.theguardian.com/stage/article/2024/jun/16/maria-bamford-i-want-to-give-donald-trump-a-roundhouse-to-the-bread-basket The mention sources can contact us to remove/changing this article

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