Politics
My garden decoration advice for Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson has three life-size carved wooden elephants in his garden, given to him by his wife for his 60th birthday. But here's a warning for both of them, as they return from Sardinia to join their elephants again: garden sculptures are horribly addictive. Once you have one, you want more and most good ones are ridiculously expensive unless, like my husband and I, you improvise.
My husband John, once a fashion designer and maker, began making iron sculptures, although he was too modest to call himself a sculptor. I draw things, he says, and Sked (Malcolm Sked, the local blacksmith) makes them. So far, John has created a huge wrought-iron pagoda with a floral explosion at the top and two urns, one containing a giant metal phormium whose rusty leaves glow red in the evening sun and wave in the wind. There is also a gigantic fantasy plant with white husk-like flowers and huge heart-shaped leaves growing on an old lorry wheel embedded in a block of Cotswold stone. This was captured on film when we were making Prue Leiths Cotswold Kitchen. Two weeks later, a strong wind tore the 8-foot leaves off the wheel and sent them flying across the garden. Ah, said John, I wanted to make them come true. A bit rushed work for the camera.
Even before John got into DIY, our collection of garden sculptures was impressive.
My Cambodian daughter and I purchased a two-ton Buddha in Siem Reap. The Buddha was made by stonemasons who are gradually replacing all the looted sculptures from Angkor Wat. When we first saw the statue, it was unfinished, with the Buddha's face and shoulder exquisitely carved, the rest of him having not yet emerged from the stone. It was magical. We offered full price for him as he was, but they wouldn't hear of anything so sacrilegious. They had been making statues exactly like this for 500 years. Chastened, we purchased the statue anyway and Mrs. Johnson will sympathize with the shipping costs.
My garden is also home to the casting of a Royal Shakespeare Company employee, who was cast as a background character in a play set in an insane asylum. We bought it for $5 in the props section and when we carried it to the parking lot, each holding it by an elbow, passers-by smiled at us sympathetically, thinking we were bringing home a drunk, face down, knees bent. , feet dragging.
The man was white, and when we sat him in our garden, on top of the compost heap, visitors would get scared, thinking he was a ghost, so I painted him entirely with resin and graphite and now it looks like a bronze. A few summers ago, birds nested in a hole in his head, and after the chicks fledged, I filled the head with fiberglass foam, which I injected through the ear hole. It swelled dramatically and burst through the hole, so it now has a cauliflower ear. It still looks awesome.
I hope to one day have one of Emily Young's enormous female heads with wind-blown hair, or Sophie Rider's enormous Lady-Hares, or a William Pye water sculpture. But until I win the lottery, I'll have to make do with improvisation.
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