NBC News correspondent Dasha Burns describes Trump's chaotic rally

As an NBC News reporter covering former President Donald Trump, I’ve attended more than a dozen of his campaign rallies this election cycle alone. They typically feel more like concerts or festivals than political events, with food trucks and vendors, where supporters and their families gather to enjoy the day.

That's how Saturday's rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, also began. But, as we all know, that's not how it ended.

A few minutes into Trump’s speech, my producer, Bianca Seward, and I heard what we thought were fireworks. But when the “pop-pop-pops” continued and the former president stopped speaking, we instinctively ducked behind a piece of stage equipment. In my mind, I thought, “This is stupid, I’m overreacting.” But my body was shaking.

We didn’t know exactly what the situation was or how dangerous it was. From our crouched position, we heard the crowd cheer as Trump, his face bloodied, raised his fist. We got up and headed back to the press stands, eager to reunite with the rest of our team, who were thankfully safe, and to figure out what everyone had seen. From there, we reported nonstop until a little after 1 a.m. We’re still working now, which probably delayed our own emotional response to the events.

NBC News correspondent Dasha Burns reports from former President Donald Trump's campaign event in Butler, Pennsylvania, shortly after Saturday's shooting.NBC News

But there are things that have stayed with me: the sound of children screaming, a witness standing next to the man who was killed and accurately explaining to our viewers each horrific moment, a mother who told me that her adult son had taken her hand for the first time since he was a little boy. These are memories that will remain etched in people's minds.

As journalists, we are used to covering the aftermath of a shooting, but in this case, we had a common experience with our sources. Whether you are a reporter or just someone at a rally, you are simply trying to understand what happened. As journalists, we also want to help others understand better. While it has been a challenge, that is why we do what we do. I am grateful to everyone who has been willing to share their stories.

Once we knew what happened, we were at first surprised that someone could bring a weapon into the gathering, given the level of security. There are metal detectors and they check everyone's bags, even our wallets. But once we learned that the shooter was outside the perimeter, it was less surprising, because behind the audience, there was a lot of free space. Of course, we will wait for the investigation to know exactly what happened.

It was unusual for Trump to address policy issues so early in his speech. Typically, he spends more time warming up the crowd. But as one witness pointed out, had Trump not gestured toward a screen at the precise moment he was targeted, the outcome could have been much worse.

The idea that a political event could lead to violence has crossed my mind in the past, as it has for many others. But you never think it will happen, and you never think you will be there if it does.

On Saturday, we were so focused on the news of the day. We were waiting for Trump to announce his running mate, and the Republican National Convention starts this week. Political violence was the last thing on my mind. But I don’t think that will be the case from now on.

As I’ve traveled the country and spoken to voters since 2019, I’ve felt a growing sense of sadness and despair about the polarized state of our nation. What happened Saturday confirmed that vision in the most horrific way. But I’d like to hope that this is the peak of that polarization, and not just another tragic episode in our increasingly turbulent political reality.

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