Brexit is justified by AUKUS

A political memoir is ego and gossip wrapped in a glossy portrait, and Boris Johnson's new memoir Unchained is a perfect example. Over nearly 800 pages, he often repeats his mantra that, yes, the former prime minister made some mistakes, but in reality he was right all along.

There is name-calling: Keir Starmer is a useless traffic cone; Theresa May is a grumpy old knicker; Donald Trump is like an orange blimp carried exuberantly by the inexhaustible Primus stove of his own ego.

And there is gossip. Boris recalls, for example, that during his tenure as Foreign Minister, after a visit by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, they found a listening device in the thunder. And Queen Elizabeth II, dare we share, suffered from bone cancer, a controversial admission given that the monarch's health remained private throughout her reign.

Johnson's milestones and his interpretation are, of course, striking: he devotes barely two pages to the partygate scandal, discusses his manifesto for the Conservatives elsewhere in the chapter Some Pointers for the Future, and details his experience of challenging to get Brexit Achieved despite the influence of the Remainers, the European Union, the fear of the IRA and its own MPs.

But what does Boris say about Australia? In the chapter Triumph at Carbis Bay, the G7 summit at which AUKUS was born, Johnson sets the scene where, in the idyllic British landscape of Cornwall, Scott Morrison throws himself at Johnson's mercy.

As Johnson writes, Morrison, who was in a dilemma and needed UK help, presented the AUKUS submarine deal to Johnson, despite the pre-existing submarine contract between the Australia and France. Morrison reportedly took issue with the fact that French production took longer and was more expensive, and that French diesel engines were allegedly too noisy.

Johnson reportedly began crafting a proposal to bring the US on board, with the UK already a junior partner in that military relationship, before launching into a lengthy tangent about exactly why he proceeded without the slightest concern for the French government:

There have been a multitude of problems where, if given the chance, [Emmanuel Macron] would not hesitate to put on his Cuban heel boots in Brexit Britain.

Johnson presents himself as a sort of matchmaker in the creation of AUKUS, with his most important task at the summit being a discreet meeting between himself, Morrison and US President Joe Biden, all without being scolded by the French.

Regarding the deal itself, Johnson says it was never meant to be directly anti-China (he is a self-described Sinophile) or anti-anyone. It's not just about building submarines together; it strengthens the West, he says. It’s about collaboration in hypersonics, AI, quantum. (For reference, Morrison, in his memoir, presents this as Australia's great stand against China's bullying.)

Despite the deal that sent the French government into a hoarse cry from the anti-Aukus caucus, Johnson leaves the whole affair feeling like he was in a pretty good mood after his meeting in a sultry plywood hut, facing the sea. He affirms that this agreement could not have taken place without Brexit.

AUKUS is, for Boris, a great example of why he is right. He says most people have welcomed him, including traffic cone Keir Starmer. Never mind the furore in Australia over the estimated astronomical cost of $368 billion, nor polls that fewer Australians believe AUKUS will improve safety. Nor have Australian political heavyweights who denounced the deal, such as former Prime Minister Paul Keating, who said the British should think we were idiots, and former Labor Foreign Minister Gareth Evans, who described as a joke in bad taste.

However, history is written by the victors, and in UnchainedAUKUS is written in Boris Johnson's great epic as a Brexit victory. It is a dig at the French, a moment of unity for the Anglosphere and a flash of political and diplomatic talent.

Australia was never going to have its issues with AUKUS included in the memoir because it did not fit the former Prime Minister's narrative. But as Johnson said in his last speech to Parliament, they are the ones holding back.