Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month May 2026

Deskpilot went home this month with what I suspect is a record score. Jeremynh comes second with a score that would take him a few months to win the title!

As usual, the cartoon of the month is below the ranking, followed by all the titles published in May.

Front page, news in brief and features

The Newsbiscuit editorial team

Designs published in May were submitted by: Deskpilot, Lockjaw and Modelmaker

Scotland declares independence from the SNP

Sturgeon assumed the luxury campervan was part of the Amazon Prime free trial

monkeys

Yale and Chubb welcome key EU proposals

ash

Channel 4 cancels pilot of Arranged Marriage at First Sight in UK

bigbadbob

Jimmy Krankie never questioned receiving £400,000 worth of candy and comics

Desktop Driver

Brown and Harman tell Keir how they quit

A cowboy with an electric car worries about range

Eight remedies for constipation – number two will surprise you

Eight Ways to Break Your Clickbait Addiction…

Keir wanted change. It’s gone then

Knockoff Films presents: The Devil Wears Primark

Massive TACO spotted in the Strait of Hormuz

New Strictly hosts: first scandal expected by Sunday

Officials remove Andy Burnham’s towel from front bench

Polanski avoided council tax. The Greens will merge with the Conservatives

Polanski used hypnosis to increase the size of his vote

Reform Party millions will crush Andy Burnham’s election plan

Little child very worried about Santavirus

Starmer: I’m in a hole, but I’m going to dig deep

Sturgeon: he said the coffee machines came from Argos

The King’s Speech live! not as good as the movie

Trump Desperately Claims Peace Is Imminent

Trump says crappy Iran deal is brilliant

Unexpected victories for reformists at the BAFTAs

Orange-faced cruise passenger may have fantavirus

Suspended Sunderland councilor simply not racist enough, says Reform Party

How long can he continue on Starming?

Keir plans ‘work event’ for Arsenal

Time is running out for Swatch watches

holes

Blair unifies Labour: everyone agrees he should fuck off

Ian Searle

Britain’s Got Talent reminds us that this is not the case

German YouTuber Places Towel on Hill at 6 a.m. to Maintain His Rolling Cheese Title

King dismisses pooping bird incident: ‘It’s no worse than Andrew or Harry did it’

Starmer admits Labor made ‘unnecessary mistakes’, leaving voters wondering which were necessary

UK unemployment rate set to rise by at least one point after Makerfield by-election

BBC to publish photos of Poles in front of dogging stations

Local racist conflicts as a Reform voter

Russian oil sanctions on a slippery slope

Terrorist threat changed to “Yes”

mcdabble

Burnham to be offered third least dangerous Labor seat

Burnham’s critics say you don’t get money in a cashless society

Five-party system is broken, experts say

Hanta Spread Chance

Hormuz War: Trump seeks to end

The judge decides not to criminalize rapists

NEETs will be given a pothole to repair

NEETs will only join the job market when it pays more than just trading, experts say

Starmer declares unilateral ceasefire for local elections

The Starmer government still struggles to please everyone

Trump threatens to withdraw troops from New York

Urgent calls for more spending on trebuchets

US says Iran is losing ceasefire

The war with Iran is over, Trump says. Unless that’s not the case

Girls are loud, says Nicola Roberts on birth of daughter

New Universal Theme Park Will Accept Universal Credit Vouchers

Peter Murrell struggles to choose his luxury item for Desert Island Discs

Starmer saw leaflet dropped for reform at Makerfield

Divorced accountant dating back

The Bloodhounds will now be trained to follow Brylcream.

Welsh museum to exhibit ‘The Boyo Tapestry’

Mister Lupus

The “Freedom Project” renamed “Operation Hokey-Cokey”

Cuba prepares for the Bay of the Big Orange Pigs

Trump signs executive order so JR Ewing won’t be shot

Wes Streeting – for when you find Keir Starmer a little too dynamic

Man who died of diarrhea to be buried in Pooper’s grave

New reformist councilors will begin resigning on Saturday

Failure to address DRC raffle epidemic puts people’s lives at stake

Police set up special zones where violent protesters can be sterilized

Nigel Cheese could be the new big cheese in British politics

Scottish independence: “If at first you don’t secede, try, try and try again”

There are lies, damn lies and Truth Social

Water companies show complacency while consumers say ‘No pressure’

The 20% drop in food prices caused by Brexit. Any minute now. Really

Daily Mail blames Corbyn for Eurovision failure

The Green leader attacks the police who desperately need attention.

Man City looking for new referee payments manager

Murrell qualifies for Reform shadow cabinet

Experts recognize Guadiola’s skills with an unrivaled checkbook.

Reformers refuse candidates to receive bile infusions

Trump advises Starmer to start a war

United Kingdom: a Christian country with few true Christians

University offers new course: Understanding Student Loans

Trump’s assassins must now book a slot

Yaxley-Lennon asks Farage to share £5m of racist money