BORIS Johnson barked, someone shot this fucking dog after his pet Dilyn destroyed some old furniture.
The Jack Russell-cross left the Prime Minister with a four-figure bill after he also chewed books and messed around on a floor in Checkers.
He swore that Dilyn, who was saved as a puppy, rushed between his legs with a tome in his mouth in a Laurel and Hardy style prank.
But Boris, 56, avoided being in the doghouse because his animal-loving fiancée, Carrie Symonds, 32, was not present.
Dilyn has also marked her territory at No. 10, most recently urinating on a senior assistant’s purse.
An insider said of the Checkers incident: I was at a meeting when Dilyn rushed under the Prime Minister’s feet with an old book in her mouth.
He shouted: For god’s sake, I’m going to get another bill for 1,000 repairs. Someone please shoot this fucking dog. I don’t think he literally meant it.
Dilyn is unpopular with the staff in the Buckinghamshire countryside where Boris and Carrie spend the weekends. A source said: It wreaks havoc, eats away at furniture and dirty carpets.
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A buddy of Miss Lam said: Katy hasn’t done anything wrong. She did what any woman would do when a dog is about to relieve herself of her purse.
Miss Lam left No.10 but her departure was unrelated. Downing Street declined to comment.
Strengthen your leadership
THE Sun on Sunday Pet Vet Sean McCormack gives advice on an issue posed by Mr B Johnson of Downing Street.
Help! My one-year-old Jack Russell crossbreed Dilyn has an unfortunate penchant for polishing old books and piddling.
He also mounted an elephant footrest, a gift from former US President Teddy Roosevelt.
I considered shooting her, but Carrie would kill me (and I love her too much anyway).
SEAN SAYS: Golly my God, Mr. Johnson, Dilyns running rings around you. Dogs need strong, stable leadership. I have a feeling you’ve heard this advice from somewhere before.
It is important that you listen to the experts. Mixed messages should be avoided at all costs.
And who is really in charge here? If the books are fair this week but not the next, Dilyn will be confused. Maybe it’s time to get down to Dilyns training and be firm.
No more clumsiness with confusing advice and inconsistencies. Clear instructions will go a long way for Dilyn to know what he can do and what is prohibited.
If you’re consistent, like with Brexit, you’ll get the job done and cure Dilyn in his very naughty ways.
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