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Wallpaper snob John Lewis Boris Johnson faces problems over his attitude to venerable British institution Aidan Smith

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< class="">< style="display:block;padding-top:53.3605%"/>Could this be the moment Carrie Symonds told Boris Johnson how much the new Downing Street wallpaper is going to cost?  (Photo: Adrian Dennis / AFP via Getty Images)
Could this be the moment Carrie Symonds told Boris Johnson how much the new Downing Street wallpaper is going to cost? (Photo: Adrian Dennis / AFP via Getty Images)

Almost more important than the content of the message they deliver to the virtual doorstep, candidates on Thursday in various elections up and down the country will receive stern reminders of what not to say. The most important will be: no denunciation of venerable British institutions.

In Hartlepool, the scene of a by-election, candidates for Parliament will be specifically tasked with not confusing mushy peas with guacamole. Peter now, Lord Mandelson is believed to have done this once at a local chip shop and was immediately seen as part of the metropolitan elite, disconnected from traditional Labor values. Apocryphal or not, the tale continues to serve as a warning.

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For the hopes of Holyrood, too, there will be tailor-made advice to follow or else and this affects the battle seats in Edinburgh. He runs something like this: John Lewis’s branch in the Scottish capital now has to trade under the golden turd. He doesn’t deserve Bojo to pounce on him either. In no way make fun of the upholstery.

A famous sketch by Monty Python presents the quintessentially surreal punchline: no one expects the comfy chair! In Westminster, in the midst of a global pandemic, few would have anticipated comfy chairs because John Lewis’s are sure to become the subject of heated debate, but British politics, especially with Boris Johnson, is its own kind of comedy .

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Boris Johnson refuses to say who paid for the renovation of Downing St

Comfortable, but not quite what the first bride wants. In fact, at a distance from Carrie Symonds’ preferences. If you were to look through a vintage replica John Lewis wooden nautical telescope with brass fittings because the department store chain sells them, you would appreciate the extent of that distance. And you might almost be able to make out a wicker sex swing.

A what? In fact, no one knows if Symonds bought such an item for Downing Street, or even if her favorite interior designer Lulu Lytle makes them. It’s been speculated, perhaps mischievously, but it’s a deliciously overwhelming saga of snobbery, Empire days, the distinct possibility that the most powerful man in the land is under thumb and paper. painted at 840 a roll.

Symonds was keen to renovate the Prime Minister’s residence. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but there was a lot that was colorless about it: John Lewis’ nightmare. The damning description of what the current holders of No 10 inherited from previous occupant Theresa May is at the crux of it.

Not if the Prime Minister broke the rules by asking Conservative Party donors if they have spare change in the back of their couches to help with renovations. Not that although there is an annual stipend of 30,000 for such work, the bill for Symonds’ tissue fetishist could exceed 200,000. Nor that there are now stories making headlines: Boris Can Johnson Afford To Be Prime Minister?

No, although rumor has it that Nanny # 10’s bill was passed around Tory backers, with one of them allegedly grumbling, I don’t mind being asked to pay for leaflets but not to literally wipe the bottom of the Prime Minister’s baby, this is the insult to John Lewis, we should be most concerned.

The conclusion in the note is that household furniture, besides being too Theresa May and too beige, is too common. But many loyal Conservative voters will be fans of John Lewis and here they can be dismayed at their leader.

Does he think his taste is better than ours? Or is it, as she has been nicknamed, Carrie Antoinette who thinks so? If so, why is she wearing the pants in this relationship? He should tear up that pinny with his silly boho chic Lytles paisley parrot design, apparently and get them back right away.

John Lewis stores have haberdashery departments, for god’s sake, and aren’t they what got us wars? Lytle enjoys going back to the old days with colonial images on his fabrics and the style has been called, by those in the know, mogul maximalism.

But to my untrained eyes, the hectic nature of so many clashing colors can make rooms look like secret hiding places of curiosities Britain acquired on travels as it civilized the Old World.

But who would pay £ 840 for wallpaper? I can’t help but think of Harry Enfield’s sketch set in Notting Hill’s trinket shop, I Saw You Coming, where the comedian would effortlessly duck thick chic by buying his junk. But let’s not hurl insults.

Johnson rushed a statement stating that I love John Lewis, although unfortunately mud can stay anywhere it gets thrown and it doesn’t matter that the furniture can be wiped clean with a rag.

John Lewis is an ambitious place. Working hard, saving money, choosing a sofa built to last rather than impressing friends is a dream for many, not a nightmare. While the Edinburgh branch might not be the definitive department store from my childhood that would be Goldbergs, providing an exciting first ride of the space age on an escalator, this is where my wife and I made our wedding list. . After 15 years there was the weird party but I’m still with the same woman and the dishes still being used too.

What the story says about Wallpapergate, amid all the commotion, is how the company responded to jibe # 10. One tweet read: We are proud of our home design department to have something for almost everyone. Another, showing one of Whitehall’s famous green vans, was tagged: Luckily we have a recycling service for pre-loved old furniture.

Never knowingly under-sold, always knowingly under-appreciated, this is John Lewis.

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