When #DivorceGate (s) trended globally for a few brief hours last week, the world forgot all about Covid. The biggest novelty didn’t involve the latest variant of the virus, it was a billion dollar divorce involving a couple everyone knows Bill and Melinda Gates as if they were our famous neighbors or something. something like that. It’s the thing about celebrity dating, breakups, marriages, babies and divorce, everyone behaves like their own ka mamla family. Bill and Melinda ki shaadi is extinct but there is still Sima Aunty, Indian matchmaking ishtyle. Sima Aunty, give Bill the magic bullet, tell him he has to adapt and compromise.
The Microsoft founder (billed as the fourth richest man in the world) may have resigned from the board last year, but there is still $ 145 billion lying around in loose change that will be split between him and Melinda. Not exactly chana-chanter-dana. But here is the fact that it is their wealth that is the subject of much more discussion than the heartache of a growing 27-year-old marriage. Each auntyji has a theory. It is the familiar story of paisa ya pyaar. Chachas and chachis are looking for the other angle of woman and ummmm there are some significant Chinese whispers going around. No matter the height and most of all, people pretend to be, sniffing, please is their personal business. None of our business, the same ears are pricked up when a new salacious Gates ki Kahani begins to circulate on social networks. Big companies in India are getting nervous: Yaar, whom Jeff Bezos started the trend by divorcing. If the richest men in the world can’t make their wives happy hamara kya chance hai? Then we have the Memes Factory. You must have seen Mian Asad Saleem’s starring haggard but still super flat Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan who said: Alimony settlement is bigger than Pakistani budget. Our last hope is for the PM to seduce Melinda Gates. It is manifest destiny. Do your thing my king. Take the bag home. We cannot reimburse the IMF.
No fault: Most memes target Melinda, with some showing her lying in a tub covered in dollar bills
It goes without saying that most memes target Melinda, with some showing her lying in a tub, covered in dollar bills and working on phones to set dates. Bill is treated with a little more reverence, but he also has it in his neck. One meme swipes it right on Tinder, while another features images from the Bill Gates Insta account on his 25th wedding anniversary where he wishes Melinda and writes I can’t wait to spend 25 years of more to laugh together. Arrey! Phir kya hua? Maybe he was working from home, someone joked.
Okay, it’s less about the divorce and more about the staggering wealth involved. When Amazon-wala Jeff Bezos divorced Mackenzie Scott (2019), she became the fourth richest woman in the world after securing a whopping $ 38 billion settlement, then quickly gave away a whole share. how much? Was there a pre-nup? What happens to the children? Do children receive an inheritance after the parents separate? What about the houses? Bill and Melinda live in a 66,000 square foot mansion and are said to be America’s largest landowners. As co-chairs and trustees of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation (third trustee is Warren Buffet, 90), there’s a lot at stake besides dividing family money.
While these two know what to do with their zillions, the gossipmills across seven seas are overdrive. Salacious details are expected as readers delve into Melindas’ 2019 book, The Moment of Lift, in search of clues. Was she referring to trouble in heaven when she wrote: He (a man, not necessarily Bill) must learn to be an equal. Was this his way of letting the world know the doors were about to close his happiness? When did the gates of heaven become the gates of hell? And why was Bill smiling in pictures after the announcement of the politically perfect divorce? Are the richest men in the world about to start a billionaire divorce club? Who are they going to enlist next? Take a look at this super elite list of Divorced Big Dads Elon Musk, Bernard Arnault, Larry Ellison, Sergey Brin and Amancio Ortega.
Divorced ladies get dispelled khaali peeli. The usual noises, she must have driven him crazy. No one ever said he was crazy to begin with! Remember, it’s invariably assumed that it was the wives who got dumped for what sane woman would walk away from billions? Why not if their marriage collapses? Jaaney does, Bill and Melinda need to know what they’re doing and why. Their lives, their paisa. As the saying goes, everyone loves a good war and a bad divorce!
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