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Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v The Undateables

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FINAL REVIEWS OF SANDMANS: CELTIC / THE UNDATEABLES

Life will bring us down, but we can choose whether or not to get up again. Karate child

Ha ha ha, ah close your blue-nosed pubs for the weekend Jimmy Krankie

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BA BARKAS 6/10

From the beautiful and ancient vistas of Greece to the ugly and anachronistic royalist plague of Scotia with no time to clear his sorrowful eyes, his defense had laid him bare like a burden on a nudist beach in Kos, and we were one and remained an impending defeat. second pinball flasher one too, and didn’t really get much else to do as our backline dominated possession giving it a Wimbledon neck with monotonousside-to-side switches. fed, he took it upon himself to run with the ball to the halfway line in stoppage time and contemplated firing a shot; if he had heard me, he might have

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AJER 6/10

Raw and angry and a worried expression on her face for ninety minutes. You can’t hide the big reservations if something isn’t right Made the excellent Celtic game of the day with a life / shame / face / humiliation / goal saving gear on the Bears Bear, the concentration camp worker kapo, when he was all through it . no Viking exploits could save anything, including a valiant surge forward to get Griff up late. He must anticipate the return of the great Jullien Clary with some relief.

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WELSH 5/10

Well, boy, a strangely quiet day that ended in a depressing defeat and the idea that you’ve turned up in a team of half-axis incompetents who might benefit from your own method of just doing what you’re asked of you. Not overwhelmed, but must have been baffled. by the flurry of fallow blue around him and the lack of support from his scholars.

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ALAN LADD 2/10

Look out behind ye !. Pantomine was never about to resume his movie career, mainly because he never looks behind him. He had to be our warring ball winner whom we throw as a great danger at set pieces; unfortunately we cast him like a swinging spindle and there is an air of big-sky country ranch hand around him as he looks up and shoots a fifty-foot stride into the non-crowd. and the collective failure to mark the biggest ugliest potato twice skillfully these are the best moments of his career, disturbing to say the least.

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LAXALTIVE 7/10 MOTM

Welcome to the party, Diego. Her traversed in Benidorm, feet gilded in Milan. There is quality in the left shoe as we saw with a beaten early cross and then many front attempts. Going against the norm by looking for it, and throwing himself around in that new-man-look-to-impress way we might have expected, but compliments to him for not hiding under his suffocating teammates.

PING PONG 2/10

Looked like a tourist wandering the back alleys of Bangkok looking for a table tennis tournament without a bat. Horror show afternoon for little mhan because everything went wrong. Isolated and devoid of any kinetic invention after a few early encouraging runs, he ended up being a passenger who occasionally drifted in and gave the ball away.

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BROON 5/10

Job performed in Broon fashion booked, bookings induced, fought, bullied, just nothing happened around him and failed to light his cohorts. The last hopeless hope of a miserable day is that he growls in the locker room at the incompetent. Curious incident with their cartoon ornament if Broon had cut his lumen, would there have been a map?

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CALMAC 6/10

Gosh, even Calmac can misplace a simple pass if there is nothing but confusion in the patterns around him. In saying he was still our most diligent, always looking for the ball, especially desperate about the outcome of his work. Numbered again in the middle and forced to operate twenty meters deeper than its optimal effectiveness. Ill say it again Broon and Sam Jackson / AN Other in tandem, with Calmac ahead dealing damage with his nimble touch between their lines. Or .. Calmac and Broon with Rogic ahead. But we do need a creative spearhead from the midfield trio.

SAM JACKSON 3/10

Muthutuckin meanderin Muthutucka failed to become righteous in any way with those muthutuckinRingos or stand up to the tyranny of wicked people; all round a failed muthutuckin business.

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ELSHAGYON LASSION 6/10

Started off as an asshole, pouring the ball away, which led to their first goal, and missed a nanny three minutes later. But the usual anonymity was avoided when he played himself in the game and we thought there was a good chance of causing some havoc if he got on the ball. Then he was submerged. Eh

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KLIMALA KLIMAX 4/10

Meh. I was looking forward to his pace and fuss over their rearguard. But forgot he might need some service or a strike partner to do his best.

SUBS:

THE YETI N / A

We tossed him up and didn’t throw the ball anywhere near him.

GRIFF 6/10

Now it looks more like a Skelping veteran is coming with love in mind and if the marriage had another ten crazy barstewards like Griff eager to slaughter The Pigs Of Hate (Sandman) we might have been a completely different proposition. ball and rounding the UsualSuspect for every sex crime in the Northern Hemisphere, but the ball didn’t break friendly.

ROGIC NVT

Too late and too early for Big Oz, no time to make an impact and not enough to have a head start yet.

GREGGS DE BAKKER NVT

To be honest, as soon as I saw him on the sidelines I knew he was married.

EDDIE TURNBULL N / A

Showed up late to find they are still as smelly and aesthetically vulgar as the last time he played them 70 years ago.

LENNONY 2/10

Smart plans don’t always work, Baldrick. Everyone got a plan until they got punched in the face. This realignment gave Slippy G the best stauner of his time in Glasgow as we filled one side with the best playgroups and took the pressure off their unwieldy central defense by levitating Elshag, isolating Paddy and engulfing the midfield three in a pastiche from Black XmasI & II. Lennony still cannot decide to hold or twist his formations and today was the culmination of that mind-boggling rumination; a faulty system in which the players chatted uncertainly. Back to basics, please. Give the squad a framework, a consistent shape to operate from, or the TEN will walk away from you, Lennony. Fast.

And where has the thunder gone? Behind those who collect storm clouds

GENERAL 3/10

One point for every time we threatened. So many adjectives, so little elaborate enough to sum up the abject failure of those 90 minutes, but each one is cursed with curses. My personal choice for today would be the quaint Scottish colloquialism, pish. One thing we look fantastic at is casually hitting the ball around in the back and then giving it away in a goalless forward motion that lacks any certainty or conviction. When faced with an organized horde of servitude determined to snatch joy from the Hoops, needs are approached with pace and the mindset to combat their unhealthy excitement.

But this is not a functioning Celtic team at the moment. It is a collective of individuals going through the motions hoping that something will happen for them instead of dictating their own destiny. There was a worrying antiquity around us today that smacks of the late Strachan era or the teeth-grinding monotony of Lennony’s last-day first round. Verve is missing. Maybe we should call Richard Ashcroft to tune in all weekend

Somewhere we’ve lost our purpose and got a fatalistic resignation. Without spark there is no fireworks, without appetite we will not feed on silverware. Looks like we’re going to be under pressure and on the tail end of half a season. for three-in-a-row. Make sure it’s all the titles they claim, Celtic.

Go now

Sandman



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