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Hypergalactic Psychic Table Tennis 3000 review


Many believe that Pong was the first video game created. Bringing the simple concept of a game of tennis between two people, the machine has become a widespread fever in bars, cafes and creates the first home consoles. Therefore, it is hard to imagine that a game like Pong would be created today, much less prevalent in the mainstream. that companies like Blue Wizard stand out.

Thus was born Hypergalactic Psychic Table Tennis 3000, something that even I, creator of the Freakview series, found strangely amusing.

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Paddle this ball

Hypergalactic Psychic Table Tennis 3000 is a totally crazy experience you would expect from a game of Pong. At first everything seems to be "normal", you hit the ball and try to score points on the enemies. However, the "kick" occurs when the life bar is added and our racket begins to speak after winning, to level up and to always feel confident. Soon we are faced with monsters, mythological creatures, space beings and bosses. Not counting humans, all in the form of Pong rackets.

Later, we discovered that our goal in this universe is to become the best psychic intergalactic tennis racket that has ever existed. This will be possible by destroying our adversaries during our journey and by absorbing the energetic dust which emerges from their vanquished bodies. All this in a very theatrical way, explaining how each chevron becomes an intergalactic dust after being overcome, either by exploding in thousands of pieces, or by melting into a puddle of "racket" material.

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Yes …

With each battle won, our racket goes up in level, always offering us a choice of attributes to increase. However, over time, we can buy the Destination attribute. Each time the attribute is purchased, the player's choice of options increases, making it extremely rare. Initially, the player will always increase the agility, strength and resistance of the racket, but over time we have found that we can increase other characteristics.

This is where the RPG elements of the game come into play, offering the player many options for attributes, namely strength, charisma, intelligence, wisdom, agility and the constitution. It doesn't stop: it's also possible to use spells and hit the ball with an X force dictated by an attribute. The final adjustments are up to the player, between hitting the ball harder or directly on the opponent, or being able to use more powerful spells.

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Stronger than my table character these days.

Get out of my way, Karen

Our super racket has ten different spells, some are for attack, some are for defense and some are for resetting the status quo of the universe. Thus, the player must balance the balance between attack and defense, in order to win five-point matches, whoever makes three first, wins. For every four games won, the player will face a boss, 40 in total, until the next existential cycle.

The enemies are not just snowshoes, but also celebrities, memes, food or whatever you can think of. One moment, you will play normal Pong against a racket, the next, you will move your racket freely on the screen, dropping fireballs on the ball to increase its speed and damage on a plate of conscious pancakes. Or go fight Chtulhu, waiting for your chance to fight the next boss, who could be a refrigerator or a giant with dwarfism.

If the player has strong charisma, it is still possible to try to make the bosses fall in love with you. During a boss battle, if the player has a high charisma, a text window will open, offering one or more dialog options. So, he must try to fall in love with the opponent, which makes the game easier, but if he misses the choice of words, he can end up enraging the enemy, which makes everything even more difficult and violent.

Tell me your story

In addition to the attributes and spells that the player can learn, there are still other benefits that can be gained during the game. Like, for example, the ability to read opponents' past before battle, or find out how much HP they have. Matches are like battles, each time you hit the ball, you take damage and the faster the ball, the more damage. So it's always good to pay attention to the attributes and spells available.

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Panties on the head, the latest fashion in Europe

As soon as he has an idea of ​​what he can and cannot use, of the force with which he hits and moves on the screen, the player begins to gain more and more situation in the games of Hypergalactic Psychic Table Tennis 3000. On the other hand, the scenario presents its own obstacles, like mines which explode the ball by increasing its speed and portals which transport it in random and unpredictable places. In addition to the lava that can burn us, acid that corrodes and water that can end the magic of fire.

However, over time, the player can also acquire the skills necessary to walk on these terrains and become the master of the terrain. Another big attribute present in the game are the chopsticks, which seem to randomly give us clothes. Whether hats, masks, blouses, jackets, pants, leggings or duck feet, literally ducks. It is also possible to acquire the skill Breeding of animals, which allows us to have a mount, after all who never wanted to play Pong on a hot capybara?

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Ok Batman, you can believe that it will not be this "guide" that will prevent me from going there to fight

Hypergalactic Psychic Table Tennis 3000 totally crazy, slightly sickly and completely essential. Pong, with nothing Pong, with elements of RPG and even Visual Novel, in addition to countless references to movies, series, drawings and much more. one of those games to play just by playing and losing a few hours laughing at unusual opponents.

Despite so many unusual elements, over time the game ends up being fairly repetitive, so it's good to enjoy the bizarre story at regular intervals.

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