It’s good to take a break from all the dire situations in the world and ask yourself the following big questions: What does Sonic the Hedgehog smell like? As a large thorny mammal that runs most of its life in full pelt and eats chili dogs, I will suggest that the answer is “bad.” That’s not the case, says Sega. Sega has just launched its own Cologne based on three franchises.
“Gorgeous and refreshing” but strangely “exhilarating” Sonic the Hedgehog’s “Blue Blur” Cologne seems to have been “signed for approval by the famous speedy hedgehog himself.” It’s … yeah, screw it in, if you’re going to make Cologne based on the invented scent of a fictional hedgehog, then fuck reality: Sonic personally approved it!
Fragrance: “Topped with fresh citrus, grapefruit peel and exotic lemon and lime scents, sea breeze and chilled melon fading scenes. Enjoy the rich base tones of leather, suede and cedar.” That’s what’s happening, but citrus, suede, and leather give me a great grease feel. I think that is the smell of T-Birds. Oh, now I’m doing it.
(Image credit: Sega)
Proceeding immediately, the yakuza Cologne was “made for the night”, so “it smells like the boss of the best criminal organization of the Tojo clan!” What a tagline. Happy Christmas Darling, I always thought of you as a potential gangster. This scent is odorless and “shows off” the scent of “antique oak, cedarwood, smoky bourbon-injected beeswax, leathery roses, and scorching pimento.” Your guess about the scent of “leather roses” is as good as mine.
Finally, Shenmue. When I put this image in the PC Gamer slack, the first response was “Is it the huge steamed dung behind it?”
(Image credit: Sega)
Of course not. This Cologne is “rebellious and addictive,” and “Ryo Hazuki nods with gratitude.” This actually sounds very exciting. A cardamom-bergamot clash, a smoldering golden cigarette, a deep oris, and a powerful patchouli base. “
This is not the first rodeo that Sega entered the world of odors. There are many yakuza cologne whiplashes in Japan, and people of a certain age may remember a slightly unfavorable product. PC Gamer’s own Graeme Meredith was urged to remember this monument of his youth.
(Image credit: @UltimateFrieza)
“I owned this when I was nine,” Graeme writes. “I bought it at a Greek airport. I was 9 years old and had never actually used it. I sat down for about 10 years and it was weird.”
Cautionary tale. Still, if you or your loved one wants to smell like the boss of a criminal organization, here’s the Sega Store. Who knows, if this little lot takes off, we might get Vanquish Cologne: punchy, sweet, and quickly disappearing.
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