Does “earthquake munched on my data” beat “the dog ate my homework”?

This week’s Notes column (which I’m writing) in New Scientist has four sections. Here are the beginnings of each of them:

Earthquake Snack The classic “the dog ate my homework” excuse has a new counterpart: “The earthquake wiped out my data.” …stressed fish pun – Andrew Knapp and colleagues add to the history of strained biological puns. Knapp is a postdoctoral researcher at the Natural History Museum, London. His partners are spread all over the UK and the US. In concert, they wrote a paper called “How Tuna Fish: Constraint, Convergence, and Integration in the Neurocranium of Plagiari Fishes.” It occupies several pages in Evolution magazine…. Parsnippety Bonobos – Parsnip has become the go-to tool for testing and manipulating bonobos’ emotions. Jonas Versbeek and Jeroen Stevens of the Royal Zoological Society in Antwerp, Belgium, videotaped 38 sessions in which they handed bonobos either tasty grapes, or parsnips, which is good, but not quite as tasty. Versbeek and Stephens had earlier judged the relative taste of grapes and parsnips at least relative to pods… Some of these powers may be innately colored, and two examples emerge from the swirl of responses to the call for comments to help classify them. “I have the ability to hold a shade of my own color accurately in my head, so I don’t need samples when looking for a match,” says innate colorist Diane Tunnell. …

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