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Opinion | Eclipses and earthquakes are harbingers! Omens are everywhere!

Opinion |  Eclipses and earthquakes are harbingers!  Omens are everywhere!

 


“God is sending America strong signals commanding us to repent. Earthquakes, eclipses and many other things are coming. “I pray that our country will listen.” – Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA)

chaos! omen! Signs! Nadir! The earth is shaking and the moon is blocking the sun! There is something very strange in the country. Clearly someone is trying to warn us about something. Clearly we have angered God!

I'm not saying, “Obviously we've made God angry!”, meaning that I don't really understand the science, and as a result, everything in the world scares me, like a little kid who's not sure that the sun will ever come back again. I'm a member of Congress and I know the sun will come back because we passed the daylight saving time law and now the sun is binding on us.

I don't know why more people aren't terrified by the signs.

Everywhere I look, there are big red signs that say “Stop,” placed in the streets, almost as if they were coordinated. Sometimes, when I try to cross the road, a red hand flashes in the air, along with mysterious numbers. the countdown. but why? Then the illuminated white figure of the man appears, and the cars stop at the party.

Follow the opinions of this writer, Alexandra Petrie

On that day, a liquid fell from the sky. Wet like tears. But cold, not quite like tears. It was scary, as if the sky was crying. And then there was a rumbling sound, like God's Harley Davidson motorcycle was starting up, or God was raising a really heavy flag. What did this mean? Sometimes there are little things in the sky that look like chemical trails, but much subtler. Who put them there and why?

Sometimes rivers rise. Sometimes I see a duck for no good reason. I've never made a mistake in my life, but others have. Maybe Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA). Maybe others. We should block everything to be safe.

The Earth is changing in terrifying ways, and we have to act differently, but not by accelerating the transition to renewable energy. I mean maybe we should sacrifice a goat. I'm a rational woman of faith, and I think maybe we should pray hard on Monday that the moon will release the sun and not consume it.

But while we're here, let's examine this double standard! When the air is filled with smoke and the temperature is rising, you say it's good science to say, “The scary thing the Earth is doing now is that humanity has done something wrong,” but I say the eclipse and the earthquake are because of the sins of time and suddenly “I don't understand basic science”?

Yes, God punishes us. It was usual to walk along the path across the comfortable flatness of the earth, and the sun would rise and set in an orderly manner. Now, the Earth is a ball hurtling through the vacuum of space. Now, we have WiFi, but should we?

Obviously someone is upset. But fortunately, I understand what's going on. The signs tell me everything

Sources

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2/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/04/05/eclipse-earthquake-marjorie-taylor-greene-satire/

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