League: Opening Day at Yankee Stadium? The earth moved

As my 75th birthday approached (a major milestone that felt like a millstone around my neck), my wife, Joan, asked me what I wanted. She said something special.

I knew what not to ask for. Certainly not the clothes. If, for example, she had asked for a nice new jacket, Joan would have said, “Not until we get rid of some of your old jackets.” Joan periodically takes me to my closet and does what she calls an “execution,” and what I call a “wardrobe massacre.”

It's true that I'm a hoarder and she's a hoarder, which makes us get along so well – she'd have nothing to get rid of if I didn't hoard. A new pair of pants? forget that. First I have to try on some old pants, which she will tell me are too long. No, I say, the pants are not very long, it's just that my legs are too short. At a certain age, you wake up one morning and suddenly find that you are an inch shorter and your pants no longer fit. Those inches mysteriously materialize around your waist.

After much thought, I told her what I wanted: tickets to the home opener at Yankee Stadium. I've been a Yankee fan my whole life — Mickey Mantle was my childhood hero — I've been to the World Series, the playoffs, and even an Old-Timers game (which was perhaps more appropriate for the occasion). But I've never been to an opening day game, with all the pomp and ceremony and ridiculously expensive seats.

Joan thought this was a good idea, so we went online and found some seats upstairs behind home plate that cost what I paid for my first car over half a century ago. And so, on opening day, we headed out into the stadium – not quite as amazing an experience as you might think. However, that was the day of the earthquake in New York.

When the first earthquakes happened, we were on the subway, where it always sounds like an earthquake, so we had no idea. When we arrived at the playground, Joan received a mysterious text from our neighbor, who had almost never texted us: “Are you guys okay?”

We had no idea what he was talking about until our phones started ringing with the emergency alarm: Earthquake in New York! Stay inside! Away from any unsecured things!

Stay inside? We were at Yankee Stadium with about 50,000 other people, every one of them a potential human projectile. What could go wrong? I've had visions of being knocked unconscious by an airborne hot dog, or being launched into Monument Park by a particularly strong aftershock.

Getting into the stadium was a bit of an adventure as well. The winter weather that day was more suitable for football than baseball. Our tickets were on mobile, and Ticketmaster cruelly did not allow them to be printed.

When we reached the gate, I pulled out my mobile phone, but my frostbitten fingers couldn't get the phone to respond. I frantically tapped on my phone for several minutes, leading to hundreds of people lined up behind us, who were definitely thinking very dark thoughts. About a minute before I was ready to give up and smash the phone into several small pieces, he finally responded and we went inside. I learned an interesting fact – that it is possible to sweat profusely while almost freezing to death.

As for the game, the Yankees were eliminated that day with a rather poor performance.

The most memorable stat came when my age, along with my name and birthday message, appeared on the scoreboard after the seventh inning, thanks to Joan. For the record, I didn't get a standing ovation.

Michael Golden's Great Neck

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