Long-term care is a holistic problem and needs a holistic solution

My mother-in-law fought a rare form of cancer for six years, which made me and my husband her only family caregiver.

During this time, all aspects of her care include arranging home care services, taking medicines and ensuring nutritious meals, finding transportation to appointments, coordinating discharges, and ensuring that you know the details of various insurance policies. Was dealt with. We both had a full-time job in Boston and my mother-in-law lived in Florida, so we fulfilled all these responsibilities from hundreds of miles away.

Our care story is not unique.is more than 50 million Americans A major unpaid caregiver for their loved ones. Nursing care is, of course, the act of caring for the elderly and loved ones, but worrying about parents living far away, disagreeing with siblings about whether a mother can stay home, or a loved one. You may wonder if you have a health problem or something more serious. By this definition, millions of people are caregivers, whether or not they are so identified.

I felt that caring for my mother-in-law was a loving job. But it was also exhausted because it really was like another full-time job. The challenges associated with nursing care are constantly changing and cannot be easily resolved. After talking to so many caregivers over the years, we found that each caregiver journey was different.

Caregivers need comprehensive support. Our system needs to do a better job of recognizing that long-term care is an overall problem that requires an overall solution. Understanding what’s wrong means putting together all the pieces of the puzzle: the physical, mental, social, and spiritual needs and preferences of the caregiver and caregiver. increase.

recently Studies show During Covid-19, more than 3 million adults were forced to quit their jobs due to long-term care responsibilities. Overnight, it turned out that the family became a full-time caregiver, was not ready to provide care at home, and was not trained to become a caregiver. It was even worse for the so-called “sandwich generation” who were under pressure to care for their children and their elderly parents at the same time. It is a combination that causes relentless and chronic stress, malaise, anxiety, and ultimately burnout.

My long-term care journey had a serious impact on my own physical and mental health. Thankfully, I work in the field of mental health and can discuss responsibility for care, what I need to do, and where someone can step in to get things off my plate. It was very helpful to have someone who could. I learned a lot about myself and realized that I needed support tailored to my situation. The online tools and resources were helpful, but they didn’t really solve my problem.

One aspect of long-term care that is not paid enough attention is its impact on family dynamics. Whenever a sibling disagrees with a care decision, there is an opportunity for conflict, especially if one sibling is at the mercy of responsibility. This can lead to both sides’ resentment, conflict, and mental health problems, which can make the care experience even more difficult.

Family caregivers dealing with sensitive family dynamics can benefit from third parties who discover and solve the complex emotional, social, and clinical challenges that arise when caring for loved ones. Caregivers need to listen, understand, and feel supported when making difficult decisions.

In my practice, I worked with an adult daughter who was the mother’s only caregiver dealing with diabetes, vision and cognitive problems. We elaborated on the need to identify specific resources for mothers to live comfortably and what else they need to do for them. At some point, it became clear that her daughter also needed help. She was experiencing depression and anxiety and was anxious for her exit. There is an implicit hidden lethality of care. You take care of yourself, give, give, and give up.

Caregivers often have signs of dissociation. They lose their connection to the outside world, lack energy, experience fatigue and insomnia, make dramatic changes in their diet, and experience anxiety and depression. There are also physical conditions that manifest themselves due to the psychosomatic effects of long-term care, stress and other psychological factors. There is a lot of work to be done to educate caregivers, health professionals and employers about the importance of self-care to care for others.

Long-term care is one of the most noble things humans can do. Not everyone has to navigate on their own is a humble, burdensome and demanding experience. Providing patchwork backup care and logistical support is not a solution to a caregiver’s challenge. They need access to professionals who can identify key issues on their own and work with their families to develop wise, practical and effective plans to resolve these long-term care issues.

We need to take care of our caregivers and ensure that they have sufficient resources, funds and tools to provide the best care to their loved ones, while at the same time ensuring that they prioritize their own well-being. ..

Photo: jacoblund, Getty Images