Health
Planning Your Priorities After a Cancer Diagnosis
One fine day in May 2014, I found out I had male breast cancer. I said to myself Even after four years of experience as his first wife’s caregiver, Died 14 years ago from ovarian cancer, I was not ready for the news. I felt like a toddler in the cancer world — alone with my own rare form of the disease, bewildered and unnerved.
After the initial shock subsided, it seemed to me that I would need to take long, deep breaths and talk to a specialist if I was going to survive my new cancer experience. but also the lives of other people with cancer like mine). ) and after considering my personal priorities, I assembled a plan of action.
Perhaps most important was the belief that no matter which path I chose, it offered the best choices that gave me hope and provided a solid foundation for balancing my current precarious life. I wanted a plan of action that felt promising.
There were practical issues that had to be dealt with. My spouse and I lived in Hawaii for her year and rented a house, but all of our personal belongings and household effects were stored in California, 2,400 miles away from her. I always thought I would have plenty of time to choose a new location and buy a home on the mainland once my extended visit to Hawaii was over. So, on top of the uncertain outcome of my cancer, we both lived a lovely but precarious life. I was there.
It’s time to get your priorities straight, keep your cool, and make quick and urgent choices.
Childless, my first thought after waking up in Honolulu from a mastectomy was finding a permanent home for my wife and myself. From there, I began my quest for health and healing and found stability in my life. That was the thought that brought me the most comfort, knowing she had her “place” if cancer cut my life short.
Second, I started thinking about the amount of “stuff” I’d accumulated over the years as a stage magician. audience. All of this was crammed into her two large storage units in California. She is unlikely to disperse, sell, or understand most of this.
I needed to catalog a lifetime of possessions and shrink the junk I had collected over the years, and I felt a strong urge to do it ASAP. And all the while, my breast cancer was in the foreground, making its own choices about how I would spend the next few months or years of my life.
Perhaps the most surprising thing to me was the realization that life-threatening illness was necessary to bring these ideas to life and to drive me to action. , I wondered if I was bogged down in the spin cycle quagmire of the long history of hoarding.
Back in the mainland USA, I found some oncologists who resonated with me. We bought a house in Arizona. I cleared his 40 years of work-related equipment and began connecting with fellow cancer survivors across the country and even the world.
Today, despite the relative order of my life as an ongoing cancer survivor, I maintain a priority list to remind myself of what really matters. I know very well that there may be lurking. I think the greatest gift I’ve received in all of this is knowing if I need to put my energy into surviving cancer one more time in the future. You don’t have to dilute your energy by packing up your stuff for the rest of your life or looking for a new zip code to live in.
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