Men too often avoid mental health support due to stigma. These three mindset shifts can help

he always I felt stressed Although he did not feel any joy in his studies in his major, he said that his thoughts disappeared and he pushed himself to try harder, hoping that the harder he worked, the more successful he would be.

“That didn't work,” Beharie says. luck.

Beharie finally became desperate and told her parents how she felt. They helped him start seeing a therapist, who diagnosed him with: depression–But the stigma only made him feel worse.

One particularly bad night, in January 2010, when he was 22, Beharie attempted to suicide By jumping off a bridge.

He survived the fall with several internal injuries and broken bones, but had a desire not just to survive, but to find support for himself and provide it to others. . Beharie currently works as a project manager for a men's mental health organization. heads up guyThe paper acknowledges that “fear, shame, or simply not knowing how to ask for or accept help often get in the way of men getting help.”

Men are more open about depression and anxiety than they were 10 years ago. prince harrysinger-songwriter Noah Kahan, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, michael phelpsand ryan reynoldsjust to name a few. “Just as we all have physical health, we also have mental health,” says co-founder Harry. go together A campaign to end the stigma of mental health in the UK, formerly said. “It’s okay to have depression, it’s okay to have anxiety, it’s okay to have adjustment disorder.”

@cbs morning @Noah Kahan says he's never been afraid to talk about his mental health, and is open to talking and singing about it in the hopes that “it'll be a conversation starter for others too.” He added that he feels responsible for this. #Noakahan #mental health #Grammy Awards ♬ Original Sound – CBS Morning

Still, prejudice remains strong, especially for men. In the United States, only 40% of men who reported having a mental illness received mental health care services in the past year, compared to 52% of women who reported having a mental illness. It is said that it was. 2022 statistics From the National Institute of Mental Health. However, men are almost four times more likely to die by suicide than women, according to the report. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

“There is a fundamental need for men to address their mental health, but the stigma that “poor mental health makes you weak'' is holding them back,'' says a certified mental health counselor. ryan copierauthor of the book big boys do crytell luck.

Coppier and other mental health experts suggest that a small shift in perspective could have a positive effect on helping men get support, whether it's through therapy or just being a close friend. . There are three things to note:

Embrace a new definition of masculinity

Beharie now realizes that in her darkest moments, she put pressure on herself to succeed in a career in computer science that she never wanted. It was so that one day I could be the provider that I believed I should be as a human being.

Paul says he feels trapped by these societal expectations. sharpThe University of New South Wales Faculty of Health Sciences senior lecturer is a common oppressor when it comes to men who are suffering mentally.

But traditional masculine ideals can and should be expanded, he says.

“Today, there is a healthy, supportive, positive way of being wrapped up in male identity,” Sharp says. He encourages men to consider the concept of “masculinity” rather than “masculinity.” Because “masculinity encompasses multiple ways of being a man,” he points out.

Men who choose to call out bad behavior, such as bullying, sexism, or mocking other men's weaknesses, for example, also demonstrate a type of leadership and strength, Sharp says.

Coppier believes vulnerability not only helps men become better people, but also better leaders, colleagues, and partners.

“By taking that mask off, which is what mental health treatment can do, it allows that person to be more vulnerable and become a better leader, a better supervisor, a better partner,” Coppier said. say.

Trust in your power to speak your truth

The most attractive thing is being a psychologist. michael reichert What men do for their mental health is perhaps not surprising, he says. “Talk about it,” he says.

But he points out that that is sometimes easier said than done. This is because when a man, or anyone for that matter, faces emotional adversity, there is a common belief that only “getting through it” will prove that one is stronger.

“It's really scientifically incorrect, invalid, disproved, and a trap,” says author Reichert. How to raise boys: The power of connections to raise good men, say something like the study Results have been shown to improve when men disclose their psychological distress. He emphasizes that the first step to improving your mental health is finding someone to talk to, and it doesn't necessarily have to be a therapist.

“You have to find someone, be it a friend, a lover, a sibling, a parent. And you have to have the courage it takes to be vulnerable and share the difficult things,” Reichert says.

Reichert admits that sometimes men don't know what to say or even know what they're feeling. But staying silent doesn't make it any easier. He supports support groups, group therapy, men's hideout. For men who may not be able to do that, Sharp suggests doing an activity with a close male friend, such as playing golf, and slowly starting to open up while spending time together in such a pressure-free setting. I am proposing.

“The advice I give people is: Talk about it. It removes layers of disconnection and numbness, and you'll always find a way to put your feelings into words,” Reichert says.

Consider therapy. However, it may be possible to do this in a group rather than one-on-one.

When Beharie first tried therapy, he wasn't a fan. He reluctantly agreed to the interview because he was embarrassed to talk about his depression and the dark thoughts weighing on him.

But, he says, he realized that “in order to actually start getting better, I had to open up and start talking about what was really bothering me.” That's when the cure hit home.

Other men may also have a hard time opening up to you at first. masculine socialization, research notesis often due to. However, the traditional setting of one-on-one talk therapy may not be the best fit for all men.

Reichert strongly believes in the power of group-based therapy. He hosts peer groups for 17- and 18-year-old boys and has had great success in getting young men to open up. The main reason for this is that it provides peer support to break the isolation that is culturally imposed on men.

“It's entirely possible for young men and older men to help each other,” Reichert says. luck. “But…they need some kind of structured opportunity or permission to go against cultural norms. That's how scary cultural norms are.”

Study shows group-based therapy helps men feel better feel less isolatedwhile providing a structured space where they feel safe and even encouraged to open up to other men without fear of rejection or judgment.

“Vulnerability helps create safety, and that safety helps create communication,” Coppier says.

Sharp agrees that group settings are important in combating the sense of isolation that men feel while suffering mentally. a study It reveals how male-only groups can be particularly helpful. Because men can find friendship and support from other men who understand the masculine norms that lead to depression in the first place.

If these settings still scare you, Sharp suggests walking side-by-side outdoors with a therapist or a trusted friend and taking difficult conversations outside. Men may feel uncomfortable if their therapist or co-worker can see their tears and emotional expressions, and may refrain from speaking up. Suggesting a walk during a therapy session or with a friend can take the pressure off, he says.

But as Beharie sought treatment for depression, he found a peer group invaluable in helping him find the support of other men who understood what he was going through. .

“Talking about things takes them out of your mind and makes them feel less serious and burdensome,” Beharie says.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, seek help immediately. You can call 911 or send a call or text message. 988 Lifeline for suicide and crisis At 988.

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