My mother helps me by providing childcare so that I can continue to work.
She wants to pay particular attention not only for our home, but also for herself.
The big problem is that my dad thinks the coronavirus is a joke. He does not wear social distances or masks unless forced.
He is acting childish and has no worries about the people around him, especially our little baby.
We don’t visit their home away from him, but I’m still incredibly worried about my mother’s health!
She wears a mask whenever she is with me or her baby, and sometimes even when she is at home.
I feel very helpless. I asked her to be with us, but she doesn’t want him to feel like he “wins” the house.
To be honest, I don’t mind if my father gets sick at this point, but I’m very worried about what my father’s behavior will be to my mother.
What can I do to deal with my father?
— Very worried daughter
Very worried daughter: You have no control over your father. If he doesn’t believe in the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention or isn’t paying attention to the various spikes and real risks of this virus, he’s not going to listen to you. Your only leverage is access to your baby and he doesn’t seem to be interested in seeing a child.
If your mom is very worried about her (and you) health but doesn’t want your dad to “win the house” and doesn’t live with you, her health concerns I don’t think it really is the most important.
If she is worried about her legal rights to the couple’s property if she leaves home for a long time, it would be wisest for her to consult a lawyer.
The good news is that because of their broken relationship, your parents are probably keeping a distance from each other while at their home. Your mom is observing safe coronavirus practice while you are with you. All of you should continue to protect your own health.
If you really believe that your mother is endangering her own health (and your health) by living with your father, you can tell her until she can get the vaccine. You shouldn’t ask to come to your house.
Your family exemplifies the challenges and compromises most families face. It doesn’t help to worry. It does not mitigate your risk.
Dear Amy: I have a female friend whose lease has expired at the end of the month. She asked about moving with me. I have retired, never married and went out as a friend about three times, but I can see that I spend the rest of my life with her (she is 20 years younger).
The house I own is small and the male housemate who lives in one of the bedrooms is also retired. The other bedroom is for his home business.
There is no place for her to sleep other than my bed.
I don’t know much about her. She seems to be interested in her ex-boyfriend, which is one of the reasons she wants to move. She is also applying for a divorce from her husband in another country.
She has two jobs and has a strange time.
We are not yet intimate, but we both want to be.
If she lived here, my life would really change.
I don’t know if it will work to be friends and sleep in the same bed without getting intimate, but we still know each other.
doubt: On the one hand: No. No no no no.
On the other hand, the pandemic may have prevented you from attending the live theater. Putting this stranger in your home (and your bed) would be your guaranteed ticket to a non-stop drama.
If you decide to have her live in your home, check your state’s eviction laws in advance.
Dear Amy: I agree with your answer to “”upset“A person who was jealous when he googled for the fascinating personality he saw on TV.
I might add what my father-in-law was saying about it: “As long as you go home for dinner, it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite.”
2021 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency
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