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From Sleepy Keir to Starmegeddon: A recap of the UK general election campaign | Michael Savage

From Sleepy Keir to Starmegeddon: A recap of the UK general election campaign |  Michael Savage

 



Conservatives: Bet on the house

It may have ended with a series of bets, but the Conservative campaign would actually have made a lot more sense if someone at HQ had tried to throw the contest. It wasn’t smooth sailing from the moment a soggy Rishi Sunak returned to Downing Street, killing political metaphor for at least a generation. Starting the D-day celebrations early wasn’t the best key voting strategy either. Sunak also seemed to have spent much of the campaign apologising for not needing Professor John Curtice to suggest that this wasn’t a good sign. Perhaps the last apology owed to his party’s candidates who had brought up the issue in the first place.

Labor: Starmageddon

The Labour party is fuelled by underage drinkers. We’ve all been there. Try to act normal, look confident. Don’t do anything flashy or stupid. Oh my, this might actually happen. It’s definitely a low-risk campaign. But if the goal is to look more coherent than the party that first posted a video with their kids on TikTok, who can blame them? Maybe they’re not the geniuses we thought they were. Taking out the Tories was the trump card. Change was the slogan, but change could also mean how much cash they actually spend on public services. They regretfully conclude that they’re exhausted.

Key phrase

There have been some brave failures here. The Conservatives’ brief attempt to make Sleepy Keir work was probably abandoned when voters showed they preferred a sleeping politician who couldn’t blow up the economy or important trade relations. Also, Starmers’ Eerily Orwellian argument that stability equals change seemed like a waste of time. It’s a bit early for Big Brother, but perhaps it could be with a 200-seat majority. Campaigning buzzwords? Well, we’ve never seen more than a couple of sentences from the toolmaker. Perhaps Starmer’s obsession with his father’s job inspired Sunak to throw the hammer at his own efforts.

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Campaign Star

What would we have done without Tory minister Steve Baker, who first promised to drive a fast catamaran if he lost before spending his first campaign week on holiday in Greece? But don't be afraid. Steve knows what's captivating voters in Wycombe. Clearly, it was the breakdown of the post-Bretton Woods political consensus. This is surprising considering the end of the gold standard is a bigger concern for gamblers in nearby Hemel Hempstead. And of course there's Ed Davey, whose think tank seminars and Generation Game campaigns keep us all going. At least someone had fun.

Sources

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