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Stay calm and keep going, Boris Johnson tells a room full of corpses
Johnson delivered a passionate speech in a room of corpses which contracted and later died of Covid-19.
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Recalling the daring of the great generation who managed to survive World War II, but who will not survive it, British Prime Minister Alexander Boris of Pfeffel Johnson delivered a passionate speech in a room of contracted corpses and died of Covid-19.
Keep calm and carry on, bellowed Johnson, delighted with the way the markets rallied and the pound jumped in response to his administrations prioritizing profit over people in the past two weeks.
Despite the cold and glaring environment of an almost capacity morgue, Johnson, encouraged by the lack of rebellious voices among his captive audience, continued his speech full of vim and vigor.
We are going to socialize on the beaches. We will gather en masse on the landing grounds. We will get angry in the fields and on the streets. We will lie to the hilt. We will never submit to the haunting logic and appeals of tender-hearted nations begging us to save our own people and not make the same imperfections as them.
Oh, no wait, scratch this; shutting it all down, Johnson responded in disagreement with himself for the 50th time this week.
Interrupted just as he reached his stride by a doctor at the end of their strap, Johnson qualified the doctors to speak of corpse without pulse as typical of the fear of the project chaired by experts of which everyone had enough.
Johnson reminded the corpses how they could be assured that increased levels of testing were underway after he wrote it on the side of a bus full of people who were still moving to and from work in droves.
Follow my example when it comes to my children whom I refuse to admit to exist; just stay socially distant, Johnson said, before asking to be left alone with the corpses as long as he has to remove all valuables, such as wallets, watches and wedding rings.
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