Or as he referred to both: those fucking guys.
Stewart played footage of Biden last week during a press conference intended to reassure the public about his cognition after the special prosecutor called him an elderly man with a bad memory.
Instead, as Stewart noted, the event was marked by a few language errors on the president's part.
So Joe Biden held a big press conference to dispel the notion that he might have lost a step and, politically speaking, three or four steps, Stewart said.
He said Biden had another chance to prove himself by doing the traditional post-Super Bowl interview where millions and millions of people could see him competently and clearly laying out his 2024 agenda.
But Biden refused, and posted a TikTok video instead where he answered short questions about the game and praised the chocolate chip cookies.
Send everyone back. Everyone! » said Stewart. How to go on TikTok and end up looking older?
But Stewart was just as tough on Trump, who over the weekend came up with a strange new way to pronounce Pennsylvania and then warned they were going to change the state's name.
What are we doing here, people? asked Stewart. The Bidens are down a step, but Trump regularly says things at rallies that would warrant a health check.
Then he got serious with his audience.
I have learned one thing over the last nine years and I have been at best flippant and probably at worst dismissive about it, he said in delivering his message:
The work of making this world look like the one you'd rather live in is a fucking lunch job, day in and day out, where thousands of committed, anonymous, intelligent, dedicated people knock behind closed doors and pick up those who have fallen and work on the problems until they get a positive result and even then they have to stay to make sure that result sticks.
So the good news is: I'm not saying you don't have to worry about who wins the election. I say you have to worry about every day before and every day after, he said. Forever.
The audience applauded.
But on the positive side, I was told that one day the sun would run out of hydrogen, he added.
See his full 20-minute monologue from Monday night's Daily Show below:
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