Madame Web is Officially the Worst Superhero Movie Ever

There are about 47,000 oh wait, a new Netflix Original just came out; that's 47,001 TV shows and movies released every week. At Obsessed, we consider it our social duty to help you see the best and avoid the rest.

We already have a variety of in-depth and exclusive coverage on all your streaming favorites and new releases, but sometimes what you're looking for is a simple Do's or Don'ts. That's why we created See/Skip, to tell you exactly what our editors think you should see and what you can skip in the crowded entertainment landscape of the last few weeks.

Jump: Madame Web

Madame Web is worse than its trailers suggest, a collection of incoherent vignettes about a psychic Dakota Johnson who, ironically, cannot predict her failure. But hey, all superhero movies could learn a thing or two to make these inherently stupid films less serious and a little sillier.

Here's Nick Schagers' take:

Sony animated Spider Worms the films have been incredible, which is more than can be said for the studios' efforts to create their own MCU-adjacent live-action film series centered around Spider-Man. This process got off to an awkward start with Venom and its sequel before running aground with 2022 Morbiusand it now completely crashes and burns with Madame Web, a tortuous saga that unfortunately goes in circles trying to craft a competent tone or coherent action sequence. Whatever its heroines' clairvoyant superpowers, it's a debacle incapable of seeing and therefore avoiding each of its subsequent missteps.

Madame Web begins in the Peruvian Amazon circa 1973, with Constance (Kerry Bish) searching for a rare spider with potentially magical healing powers (thanks to its peptides!). After finding what she was looking for, Constance is quickly betrayed by her bodyguard Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), who wants the spider and its abilities for himself. Left for dead, Constance is saved by the legendary jungle spiders, who take her back to their spider cave, put her in a swimming pool and force their pet spiders to bite her, which does not protect her from death but allows to her unborn baby live. It's as absurd as it sounds, and director SJ Clarkson stages it with all the grace of a runaway train, its instant zooms, whiplash cinematography, canted angles and overly theatrical lighting making this embarrassing and comical prologue.

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See: It's me now: a love story

It's me now: a love story is an unmissable ode not only to love, but to taking yourself so seriously that you spend $20 million to tell your life story. J.Lo delivers 65 minutes of expertly choreographed CGI slop. Its pleasure lies in the sincerity of pop stars.

Here is Coleman Spilde's view:

Do you remember when Avatar was released in theaters and members of the public would have did you suffer from depression after seeing it? The audience had to leave Pandora and return to their lives on Earth outside of the theater, and it made them so unhappy that they formed an entire group. Online community just for support. This is precisely how I feel about the fantasy world that Jennifer Lopez has created It's me now: a love story. Romance reigns in Lopez's quixotic version of Earth, and the follies of the human heart can have results so cataclysmic that they could end the world as we know it.

Released in conjunction with his first studio album in a decade which shares the film's title, minus its post-settler descriptorIt's me now: a love story is a Marvel-quality cinematic spectacle that matches the album's over-the-top emotional foundation. It is an extended expansion of the record and a stand-alone work by Lopez; think of Beyoncé Lemonade film for ivory tower romantics. But this isn't just a series of music videos, held together by a weak narrative thread. The film is an introspective look at Lopez's public life, her favorite tabloid romances and her deepest desires, pushed through an autofictional lens and encapsulated in her version of Homer. The Odyssey. Which is to say: it's exactly as gloriously cheesy as its trailer makes it out to be.

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See: Ghosts Season 3

Ghosts is back for a third season of wonderfully simple sitcom brilliance. This look at the variety of hilarious specters inside an old mansion is still fresh and as cleverly funny as ever, proving that there's some life left in the network sitcom after all.

Here's LaToya Ferguson's take:

The second season of the CBS supernatural sitcom Ghosts ended on a cliffhanger, with one of the likely main series regulars appearing in Woodstone Manor finally crossing over. For the uninitiated or even the forgetful, the ghosts who head to the afterlife in the world of Ghosts are, in official language, aspirated. You can rest assured that the first two episodes of the new season succeed in ensuring that every person watching remembers this delightfully juvenile choice of words.

A remake of the British comedy of the same name, Ghosts relies on new owner Sam (Rose McIver, who gets the pregnant actress special this season, hiding her baby bump behind big coats, laptops and comically large boxes) helping the various deceased neurotics occupying her country mansion put a term and move on, with the help of her husband, Jay (Utkarsh Ambudkar). In theory, it's a good thing to see one of the ghosts finally achieve this goal. But much of this series' charm and comfort lies in the cohesive set of spectral characters. Wouldn't sending one of them off affect the entire chemistry or dynamic of the show going forward? As a living person or a ghost, what do you do when someone gets sucked? How do you move forward in your life or in the afterlife? These are questions that the series has not had to answer until now.

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Jump: Life and Beth Season 2

Life and Beth, Amy Schumers' semi-autobiographical comedy-drama, returns for its second season with more hints of something interesting just beneath the surface. Too bad Schumers' execution is too simple to make them stand out. It's time to return to life Before Beth.

Here is Vikram Murthis' take:

As the title suggests, the first season of Amy Schumer's semi-autobiographical Hulu drama series Life and Beth began with a death and ended with a spiritual rebirth. Following the sudden loss of her mother, Beth (Schumer), an aimless thirty-something wine merchant stuck in a committed relationship with a dim-witted co-worker, reevaluates her seemingly ideal city life. She breaks up with her partner, leaves Manhattan and returns to her hometown on Long Island, and mentally revisits stories from her traumatic childhood, told via flashbacks featuring a teenage Beth (Violet Young). Painful encounters with bullies and boys are juxtaposed with scenes of his parents' difficult relationship and eventual divorce, all inspired by Schumer's own childhood.

Over the course of the season's first 10 episodes, Beth slowly but surely learns one of the most valuable lessons of coming-of-age: that parents are people with their own flaws and baggage, and even if they don't will never change, it is possible to love them. despite the damage they caused. (Only in death can Beth forgive her mother for her borderless dating history after divorce, which ultimately cost her a childhood best friend.) Amid her grief, she learns to reconnect with old friends and also quickly falls in love with her. farmer John (Michael Cera), who helps him reconnect (literally) with his roots by teaching him the ins and outs of farming.

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