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DEAR ABBY: My friend Gene and I have been friends since elementary school. We are now in our fifties. We were inseparable best friends all these years. Around the age of 30, I began to notice that our friendship seemed to be one-sided as he made no effort to initiate contact.
Gene was friendly and inviting if I called him, but he never called me. Instead, he focused on friends he could benefit from professionally and withdrew old friends like me. About 20 years ago I stopped calling him and decided to go with other friends who were nicer and more courteous.
You can count on one hand how many times I've seen or spoken to Gene over the last 10 years, but today I received an invitation to his son's graduation wanting a cash gift for his high school diploma. Abby, her son wouldn't recognize me if I tapped him on the shoulder. To say I was appalled is an understatement.
I feel no obligation to send money to someone I don't know, and even less so given the way Gene abandoned our decades-long friendship years ago. How can I handle this tactfully without seeming rude or bitter? – SHOCKED IN THE BLUEGRASS STATE
DEAR SHOCKED: The polite way to handle this would be to send the young man a congratulatory card, wishing him well.
DEAR ABBY: I just said goodbye to my third beloved pet. Although it became easier over time, each death was devastating and I deeply mourned their loss. When my mother passed away a few years ago, I was with her during that peaceful time. I felt sadness, but nothing near the level of that of my pets.
My father's time is coming, but I don't feel sad. I had loving relationships with my parents, but not like some of my friends who described their parents as their rock or best friend.
I worry that something is missing in my heart and I should feel a greater loss for humans than for pets. Please help me understand this. I do not feel good. — EXPERIENCE MOURNING DIFFERENTLY IN FLORIDA
DEAR GRIEF: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your pet and stop beating yourself up for your feelings (or lack of feelings). Everyone cries differently. It's possible that you were able to accept your mother's death because you no longer interacted with her on an emotional level the way your friends did with their parents. The same may be true for your father.
Your pets, on the other hand, were a daily source of emotional support. Sometimes pets become the equivalent of children, and the loss of that child can be more painful than the loss of their parents.
DEAR ABBY: A dear relative has just announced her engagement. This will be his third marriage. Are gifts necessary? — I HOPE NOT IN NEBRASKA
DEAR HOPE NO: If you are attending the festivities, you should not come empty-handed. Some sort of gift is needed. However, if you shelled out generously for your loved ones' first two weddings, your third gift should only be something modest that you think the couple would appreciate.
Sources
1/ https://Google.com/
2/ https://www.dailycourier.com/arts_and_entertainment/dear-abby/article_ef45e534-19c9-11ef-8b3e-e72de151f3d3.html
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