I Felt Like an Outcast: Jimmy Anderson on Cricket, Bazball and the Future | Jimmy Anderson

IIt doesn't get too dark in here, Jimmy Anderson says softly as we return to the days when he was a lonely boy in Burnley, but I remember sitting in my room and thinking, I wish I wasn't myself. I wish I was someone else. That's not a great place to be at fourteen. I didn't fit in at school and didn't have a group of friends. The biggest thing for me then was the feeling of being lonely.

I had no close friends. We didn't play cricket at school. I was seen as a bit of a strange person who loved cricket. Why would you love cricket when you can play football and other great sports? I have played them, but obviously not at the same level as cricket. I just felt like an outcast.

Anderson is now 42 but still has the lean and hungry look of the greatest English Test bowler there ever was. But he was injured again in April when BrendonMcCullum and Ben Stokes ended his Test career. In his revealing and often moving book about cricket and life, which he co-wrote with Felix White, Anderson describes the encounter in shocking terms: As I walk towards them it chills me. This isn't a team review, right? I feel like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, being led into a room with the impression that I'm going to be made, only to be shot. You bastards.

Andrew Strauss had attempted the same murder in 2022 during a 45-second phone call. Anderson refused to surrender and returned fitter and more determined. He writes: I think you'd rather be stabbed from the front than from the back. This time it's different. It is at once kinder and harsher, more sympathetic and ruthless and, worst of all, nauseatingly final.

On a gray November morning in Soho, I feel the lingering sadness. Besides his family and friends, Anderson loves cricket more than anything. It means so much because it saved him when he was that withdrawn teenager. He was just little James from Burnley then, the cricket nerd who knew what it was like to be pinned down with a half-eaten Cornish Pasty mashed into his face. He also knew what it felt like to have blood spurt out of his nose after a meaty headbutt.

It did affect me, says Anderson, but I feel lucky to have had the cricket club. I made friends there and without that I would have really struggled. So it hasn't scarred me in the future. If anything, it made me want to succeed.

Anderson played 188 Tests for England and took 704 wickets, more than any other pace bowler in history and behind only two master spinners in Shane Warne and Muttiah Muralitharan. He succeeded not only in statistical terms, because in 21 years Anderson made bowling both a sublime art and a feat of resilience.

He pauses when I ask what would have happened to him without cricket. It's a great question, says Anderson. I have no idea. I was doing sixth form and was thinking about going to university if I didn't get a contract. I had no idea what I would do if there was no cricket happening. It's scary because I'm sure there are many people in the same position and they don't have what I loved with a passion. I feel so lucky that I had cricket.

His wife, Daniella, was furious when England dropped him as a player. Is she still angry now that Anderson is back in the fold as Test bowling coach? I think so, yes. She has been my biggest supporter since the moment we first met. I had injuries and she was the one who motivated me to get back to work. She just felt it wasn't the right way to do things. She believed I should act on my own terms. But I think it's easing up now.

Did Anderson feel a similar anger? I don't think I was angry. I was just shocked. But honestly, I would continue as long as my body let me. Maybe I needed that push to say this is a good time to wrap up.

Shortly afterwards, Anderson played a county match for Lancashire, bowling Nottinghamshire with imperious bowling and figures of seven for 35. I wasn't out to prove a point, he says. I thought this could possibly be my last ever match for Lancashire so I wanted to make sure I bowled well. It wasn't until after that, when Ben texted me, that I started shaking.

A familiar shy, sad smile appears on his face as Anderson remembers the exact wording of that wry text from Stokes: Did you really have to do that?

“Sorry, buddy,” Anderson replied.

The mutual respect and affection between Anderson, Stokes and McCullum continues. But amid the pain, was there a moment when Anderson was tempted to turn down their coaching offer? No. If it had been completely removed from my life, I don't think I would have coped well with it. The fact that they wanted me to stay in the group helped me. I still have the dressing room environment, still see my friends every day, still have an impact on Test matches, but obviously in a very different way.

Anderson leans forward and his face softens. I find it quite exciting that I will learn another job and learn more about myself and whether I am good at it. So it's been quite interesting and as a coach I can now see that the decision actually benefited the team because there have been more opportunities for bowlers to come in and do well. That's exactly what they tried to do with the Ashes a year from now. They want to make sure they have enough players with the experience to cope.

England and Anderson travel to New Zealand in a few weeks and face India at home next summer with the huge challenge of trying to win the Ashes in Australia. Does Anderson think there will be enough time by then to transform England's bowling attack into an efficient and ruthless unit? It will have to be this way. I think we have enough experience with Chris Woakes, Mark Wood, possibly Jofra Archer, and then the guys coming in. Gus Atkinson has done very well, and so have Brydon Carse and Matthew Potts. They are constantly gaining experience and if they have twelve tests under their belt, that's great. It doesn't have to be 50 tests. We have a nice mix of different types of bowlers for different conditions. If everyone fits, it will be difficult to downsize [selection] down.

Archer could be a crucial bowler next year but his career was blighted by injury. I haven't been involved in white-ball cricket, says Anderson, but he seems to be doing well. They are being cautious and if we can keep him fit, the Ashes is a clear chance. The only worry is whether the injuries have put him off Test cricket and he thinks, can my body cope? But if Jofra works hard enough, and he succeeds, he would be of great importance to us in the Ashes.

Atkinson took 12 wickets on his Test debut against the West Indies at Lords in July, in a match that marked Anderson's final memorial match for England. The 26-year-old has everything, according to Anderson. Speed, skill and he picks things up very quickly. I worked with him a little bit and he would say, OK, I want to learn an in-swinger and within twelve balls I'll have it. That's a great feature. He has great ability and a great temperament.

Anderson was with England on their recent tour of Pakistan, where they won the first Test with admirable intent before disappointingly folding in the next two matches. McCullum has had a transformative impact on English cricket over the past two years as his positive and simple message to above all enjoy the game set the players free. But will it be difficult for the coach to maintain the freshness of his approach as England face a difficult year?

He's very good at reading the room, Anderson said of McCullum. If he feels a little tense, he will relax the group. If we need a little more energy, he will find it. But it has been an interesting period where we have perhaps moved away from the ultra-aggressive style led by Ben Stokes. He was criticized for being over-the-top on offense, so maybe he's deviated from that a bit and is trying to find the balance between being entertaining and aggressive while still winning.

It sounds like Anderson, a Test match traditionalist, is advocating a return to Bazball in its purest and most attacking form? I think so, yes. It can be difficult in Pakistan to play in that positive, aggressive way. But last time we went to Pakistan [in 2022] we scored 500 in one day, so there's definitely room for us to try and get back there.

Stokes, who is such a stimulating and cheerful captain, seemed unusually frustrated in Pakistan. After missing a few games due to injury, he really wanted to come back, but it is difficult under these circumstances. I don't think he was overly frustrated, it's just that we had chances in the last Test and didn't take them. But I'm sure he's looking forward to New Zealand and will be there sooner to see family. If he was frustrated in Pakistan, hopefully he will be more relaxed there.

Anderson will continue to bowl in the nets in New Zealand as is his decision make themselves available for the IPL sees his name entered in the upcoming auction. I bowled a bit in Pakistan and then in the indoor school at Old Trafford to keep ticking over. I'm sure I'll bowl more in New Zealand because I feel great. If I didn't bowl for three months in the last eight years, it didn't matter. My muscle memory just takes over and it's all there. The most important thing, as I get older, is taking care of the fitness side and that's something I've really taken care of. If I play some T20s, hopefully four overs won't feel like too much after 20 years of Test cricket.

He also hopes to play other forms of franchise cricket and Anderson grins helplessly at the prospect of his return to limited-overs action, starting in the IPL. The response on social media has been great. I didn't expect it to cause such a stir. But I really want to experience it because everyone says it's a great tournament.

As cricket wraps him back in its comforting embrace, Anderson suddenly looks rejuvenated. The pain fades a little more as he anticipates a future coaching in Test cricket while playing again in a completely fresh T20 environment. “I'm definitely excited, but it's going to take some adjustment,” he says. I'm trying to figure out what direction I want to go in while finding the right balance in my life as I think about everything that has happened and what could happen next.

Jimmy Andersons Finding the edge is published by Bonnier Books