April Fools Edition | What my dog ​​recommends doing during quarantine

In moments as stressful as these, we are all glued to our news source in search of answers, comfort and what comes next. Someone who’s not glued to the news is my beautiful yellow lab, Wrecks Goliath.

The wreck was named after maybe a mythical 47-pound rooster named Rex Goliath, who is also a wine brand. A change to “Wrecks” is a word game because Wrecks, like its owners, are wrecks.

Because Wrecks is a dog, he can’t get a coronavirus. So this is exactly where he spends the absolute time of his life doing a lot of super exciting things.

These are exciting times. There’s a riveting thing going on these days and I’m here to share some things you can do to make life as exciting as sweet, sweet wrecks.

1. Take a walk

I can’t stress how many walks this dog has had. It’s a rude walk. Walking down and down the street multiple times a day is the only thing pets can do to keep them entertained, which results in a rather damaging exercise for the puppy. Along the way, Wrecks loves jumping on neighbors who don’t follow the 6-foot rule and stop talking to us. Wrecks is a good boy committed to social distance. Be like a wreck.

1. Go to the park

When my family and I want to spice up our lives, we get in the car and take the Wrecks to the park, where we throw the ball with tennis ball thrower and let him go wild. He’s super dumb, so he often loses the ball despite how much he stands out. It’s always humorous until I have to run long distances to get the ball. For obvious reasons, it’s a good idea to keep up with nature and get rid of the energy you have from the long days of a zoom meeting. It’s a great excuse to put on some pants too.

1. You lie in the mud in the park

When it comes to the park, it’s always muddy because the weather is disgusting and we don’t care that we are all quarantined. The wreckage found the largest, most powerful puddle of mud and garbage and dumped into it. It’s an even better way to be one with nature. Destroying a mom’s mother’s car is an obvious added bonus.

1. Bite someone to get rid of energy

Since we are having the worst moment, my family is in the middle of moving to a new house. So, we have all new types of faces coming in and out of the house, which Wrecks is very excited about. We recently had triggers and Wrecks shot one of them. It wasn’t hard enough to do any real harm, but it was hard enough to get my dad to talk about it every day for the last two weeks. Wrecks warmly recommends it, saying it is the most vibrant feeling in weeks.

1. Eat some biscuits

A new exciting quarantine activity is trying to train Wrecks and teach him new tricks, such as not biting people and laying them down. Different members of my family will conduct small training sessions in our kitchen several times a day. Every time Wrecks does something he should do, and sometimes when he doesn’t, he is rewarded with a dog biscuit and sent on his way. The next time you do a quarantine bake, try to get something out of it and teach your family new commands, such as liking each other and getting up.

1. Eat a few bullies

I will absolutely ruin your day with this information. There is a type of chewing dog called a bully, which is, in the opinion bully site, “A single-ingredient chewing dog made from high-protein bovine muscle, or more precisely a pizza – or penis – of a bull.”

I hate this information equally, if not more than you do. I tried to discourage my parents from buying them because the part of me that tries so hard to be vegan is absolutely destroyed in the existence of these things. They also smell very good. Being quarantined and moving, Wrecks has eaten a few sticks of bullies. Wrecks may recommend participating in these treats, but I do not warmly advise.

1. Eat watercolor paint

In short, I’m a fool and I threw a whole can of watercolor paint and I’m 90% positive that Wrecks ate one of the pans. Don’t worry, it’s good. I’m also 90% sure the lab can eat just about anything and tell the story live. This is not true of all species, which makes this tip particularly stupid.

1. Brush 12 times a day

Spring means the season is decaying, which means the Wrecks are letting their hair down at an alarming rate. It’s a normal part of owning a dog, but because we’re all so crazy, it looks especially bad. To try and combat this, we take Wreckage to the garage whenever we are bored and using a brush called Furminator we try to reduce the amount of fur that covers every surface in our home. You probably don’t cut as much hair as Wrecks, but you’re welcome to try to get someone to clean your hair.

1. Friends

The last item on the Wrecks recommendation list is a new introduction. The Wrecks line up with their neighbor, Bell, through a fence in their front yard. Bella is a tiny bernedoodle puppy who is always very excited for visitors. Two dogs bark at each other as they run back and forth along the fence. Dogs do not need social distance, but these two are forced to do so. Oh, being a puppy to see my friend across the fence. Even in times like these, Wrecks encourages you to find ways to be connected.