Dealing with Life-Changing Cancer Your Way

I sit with my paintbrush and an empty canvas in front of me. Ideas are pouring out of me. Need to paint a landscape, whether it’s a portrait of your grandson, a portrait of the puppy your daughter just brought home last week, or the beach you dreamed about last night? work I want to make. I am so grateful to be sitting here with a clear head and being able to do what I love.

You know what the saying goes. “I never dreamed this would happen to me.” What I thought was just a sore throat turned out to be much worse.

In the fall of 2017, I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at the base of my tongue. The cancer was so aggressive that radiation and chemotherapy were started immediately.

Radiation and chemotherapy took a toll on my body, life, and family. It was hard to deal with and even with treatment the cancer progressed at an alarming rate. I was breathing.

I was trying very hard to stay positive, but constant setbacks made it harder and harder to keep my head up. As a result, I was left with the only last option: surgery. But it was the last chance of my life.

This is when my oncologist introduced me to someone who would change my life forever. The one who led my surgery and finally gave me a chance to live! IU Health otolaryngologist, Dr. Matravadi. From the first time I met Dr. Matravadi, I knew he was the right person for the job. He spoke with confidence, had excellent bedside manners, and I trusted him with my life.

They discovered that the cancer had spread further during the operation, but were still believed to have succeeded in removing everything they could.After 14 hours, the operation was complete. I left the room without a voicebox, robbing me of my ability to speak and breathing through my windpipe forever. It will be a long road to recover through rehab and discover what I call “my new normal”. I have battled multiple infections.

From the beginning of my diagnosis, I had a social worker, Michelle Hoy, who became a big part of my support team. She has helped me shift my focus to what I can do to move forward instead of thinking about how I am feeling. gave me To this day, six years later, I am on a positive path. The “why” to me is all the positive things that happened and the hardships I overcame.

I have been fascinated by art since I was a child and my passion for creating continued into my adolescence. However, as life progressed, with the start of my job and family, there was little time left for this hobby.

A light bulb seemed to have gone out. With a growing family, no more work due to a diagnosis, my former passion for art has become my current way of expression. I can now express myself to the world without using words.

It started with the first simple sketches, but since then I have taken my creativity to a whole new level. increase. After what seemed like a long battle with cancer, treatment, surgery, and rehab. I found something that helped me feel whole.

Four years ago, I was asked to submit my work for the IU Health Complete Life Art Show hosted by the Heroes Foundation and IU Health. Since then, I have participated every year. It has put me on such a positive path that even if I could speak I can’t put into words how amazing this show has been for myself and others. Through art, I was able to express my gratitude to all those who helped me through this difficult experience. A portrait of the surgeon whose impeccable skill saved my life. I conveyed my gratitude through art. All of these people are more than doctors, nurses and therapists. They have become very special people in my life. They showed me that there is life after life-changing experiences such as cancer.

When I sit down with my paintbrush, I don’t feel anything anymore. It makes me feel normal and think very clearly. I truly believe that various forms of art can be great tools for many people. Not only to the patients who suffer from the disease, but also to the families and caregivers who are suffering with us.

The pandemic has revealed what I and many of you already knew. It’s just that there are so many heroes in the medical world. I keep fighting every day and I know I will keep fighting for the rest of my life. I continue to be surrounded by the people I love, my paintings, and a positive outlook on the future.

I would like to leave the quote I sent with the first drawing I submitted to the IU Health Complete Life Art Show.

“Cancer has taken my voice and changed the way I breathe and eat, but it can’t take away my ability to find the good in each day. It’s there, you just have to be willing to look for it.” ”

We wish the cancer community all the best.

This post was written and submitted by Brian J. Bullerdick. This article reflects the views of Brian J. Bullerdick and not those of CURE®. Also, this is not intended to be medical advice.

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