4 lessons from anxious brain

Do you feel anxious? concern? Are you overwhelmed? Welcome to the summer of 2021.

I asked thousands of New York Times readers of all ages to share How they feel now.. The most common answers revealed complex emotions over the last 14 months. Anxiety, anxiety, overwhelming, fatigue, tiredness, hope, optimism, stress, tiredness, excitement.

Some readers have said that one word is not enough to explain how they feel.

“It’s boring, anxious, and hopeful — all at once. Do you have any words for that?” Asked a reader.

Our survey was not a scientific survey — all respondents 10-day fresh start challengeDelivered daily texts, including tips for a healthy life. But the answer is consistent with national survey data showing that many people still suffer from the emotional sacrifices of a pandemic life. Household pulse surveyAccording to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as of mid-May, nearly one-third (30.7%) of Americans were experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression. That number has fallen from a peak of about 42% in November, but is still surprisingly high. In 2019, about 11% of adults in the United States had similar symptoms. National Center for Health Statistics.

Dr. Judson Brewer, director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center and associate professor of psychiatry at the School of Medicine, says many of his patients are overwhelmed and confused. Said. Emotions can arise from the general uncertainties caused by a pandemic life. To the brain, he said, a sense of uncertainty is like a feeling of hunger in your stomach. A stomach growl is a signal to your brain that you need food, while a sense of uncertainty is a signal to your brain that it needs information. The problem for many today is the lack of information about how life goes.

“Information is the food for our brains,” said Dr. Brewer, the author of the new book.Unleash Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycle of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind.. “But if unresolved uncertainties continue, people become anxious. They may feel overwhelmed because there is no solution. The brain cannot solve the problem. It makes them frustrated, tired, and tired. “

“Last year, we created a huge amount of uncertainty in so many different areas,” said Dr. Brewer.

Fortunately, uncertain times are also an opportunity to build personal growth and resilience. Studies show that times of turmoil, such as moving to a new town, divorcing, or overcoming a pandemic, can also be an opportunity to break bad habits and start healthy new habits. Here are some strategies for dealing with anxious, uncertain and hopeful summers.

Build your pain tolerance

Worrying about what you don’t know will only exacerbate anxiety and stress. However, accepting that there are answers that are not currently available will help build emotional muscles called “tolerance to pain.” People who are less tolerant of distress often look at unhealthy coping strategies, such as using drugs and spending excessive unconscious time watching TV or games.

Dr. Brewer said it would be helpful to inform himself that he would accept the current state of uncertainty. Tell yourself, “Change what you can do and accept what you can’t do.” Identify and name your feelings It can calm the stressed part of the brain.Multisensory movement Like a five-finger breathYou can prevent negative thoughts from being carried over by tracing the contours of your hands with your fingers while focusing on your breathing.

“As a society, we don’t do the great job of teaching ourselves to endure pain,” Dr. Brewer said. “Just knowing that we can’t change something, we can’t get information, and that information alone can calm us down. The most adaptive response is the problem of uncertainty. There is no such thing. “

Identify your best pandemic habits

A common cause of anxiety these days is that the slow pace of a pandemic life quickly replaces the more stressful routines of the past. “I want to enjoy a slow pace,” said one reader. “I’m worried that I’ll be back on schedule at the previous level.”

Katie Milkman, a professor at Wharton School and author of a new book “How to change: the science of getting from where you are to where you want to be”Advises people to look back over the last 14 months and identify the changes they want to keep.

“One of the things I find really interesting about pandemics is that we were forced to experiment in unusual ways,” she said. “We were all forced to try zooming and different types of training. One of the important things is to be aware of which experiment was better. What did you think? “

Dr. Milkman found himself obsessed with the effort to adjust the energetic 5-year-old social calendar in his life. “We were trying to play date on a regular basis, which was really miserable,” said Dr. Milkman. “I was very relieved to notice.’Maybe you don’t need that many play days. It might be okay to hike with your family.” Through a compulsory experiment imposed by the pandemic. I think everyone made their own discoveries. “

Ask yourself the following questions to avoid reverting to old behaviors that you don’t want to maintain. Is there a new way to do this? I advise Dr. Brewer. He said the pandemic restrictions taught him to rethink his busy travel schedule. Prior to the pandemic, he traveled the country for meetings, but learned that it could be as effective as talking through the zoom without leaving his family.

“If we see old behavior that may be coming back, it’s a matter of paying attention and paying attention,” said Dr. Brewer.

Strengthen your connection

Many studies have shown that stronger social connections help address anxiety and build resilience. Many readers during the Fresh Start Challenge said they were worried about returning to their old social routines.

“What’s normal now?” I sent a text message to one reader. “I’m looking forward to being with people again, but I feel like I can no longer have casual conversations.”

In the Fresh Start Challenge, we gave it to our readers. List of 36 questions To help them start a social conversation. A question designed to help people clarify more about themselves is “Experimental generation of interpersonal relationships“, Leaded by Arthur Aaron, a scientist at Stony Brook University, New York State University.

One reader shared asking her husband, “What kind of super power do you want?” Revealed something she didn’t know about him.

“My husband told me that he wanted to be able to stop and resume time when he was involved,” she said. “This gave me a better understanding of his feelings about time and the best way to approach a particular subject with him.”

Dr. Aaron’s research questions have become known as follows: 36 questions that lead to love, He points out that the purpose of the question is not to spur romance. In most cases, questions help strangers become friends, friends become more intimate, and romantic partners feel more connected.

Ask yourself, “What do you need now?”

I’ve recently heard from many readers who are angry at themselves for gaining weight or losing momentum during a pandemic blockade. “I feel out of control and spoiling myself, especially when it comes to eating and drinking,” one reader told me. “As you gain weight, your movements become uncomfortable and your opinion declines.”

It’s important to remember that almost everyone struggled to balance the limits of their pandemic life. Being ashamed of yourself is counterproductive. Many studies have shown that when we take a break and accept our shortcomings, a concept called self-sympathy, we are more likely to take care of ourselves. Live a healthier life.

“One of the main things that self-compassion gives you is the ability to be less overwhelmed by the difficult emotions you are experiencing,” he said. Kristin NeffHe is an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin and has pioneered much of his research on self-compassion. “Please be a little kind.”

Dr. Nef offers guided meditations and exercises to learn self-compassion on her website. Self-Compassion.org.. One of the easiest ways to start practicing self-compassion is to ask yourself the question, “What do you need now?”

“If you judge yourself, you’re hurting yourself,” said the new book.Intense self-compassion: How women use tenderness to speak, assert power, and prosper.. “What do you need to be fine? Maybe you don’t need to lose £ 5. Maybe you need more self-acceptance. The more you can accept yourself, the more life you need.” Will be able to make positive and healthy changes. “