Politics
Makerfield manifesto would stitch Burnham up
Count Binface is among the candidates in the Makerfield by-election. Voters will therefore at least have a coherent program on which to reflect.
British politics has a long and rich tradition of electoral candidates who seemingly exist in a different universe from others. This is how we ended up with Boris Johnson and Liz Truss as successive prime ministers.
But apart from the deadbeats who represent supposedly serious parties, there is the novelty candidate. The Official Monster Raving Loony Party pretty much wrote the book on this stuff. And its leader, Alan ‘Howlin’ Laud Hope, will be queuing alongside 13 other people of varying severity at Makerfield.
There is a perception that loons are nothing more than the stupidly dressed and stupid looking standing in the back group of the group Black Viper the Third fame. However, the party has a decent record when it comes to see manifesto policies become reality.
Importantly, the Loonies’ precursor, the National Teenage Party, came forward with a platform to lower the voting age from 21 to 18.
Count Binface is a worthy torchbearer of such political satire in the 21st century. A real ale Jägerbomb from the Loonies, if you will. So it’s worth looking at his manifesto to see the good things among the frivolities. I mean, sorting out football corners is surely pie in the sky.
It’s fair to say that Andy Burnham may not be a fan of point 10.
Count Binface’s Manifesto — Makerfield Great Again
- I will cut your taxes and raise everyone else’s.
- 99 Flake Ice Creams will cost no more than 99p and Wigan Kebabs will be capped at £2.
- Move traffic lights to Liverpool Road to reduce traffic congestion.
- Corners to referee correctly in football.
- People who use speakerphones on public transportation will be drafted.
- Wifi on trains that works. Trains that also work.
- The £6.6 million Ashton-in-Makerfield regeneration project is to be regenerated.
- The pensions will be double-locked, with an additional small chain on the side.
- Cyclists who break the highway code will be forced to ride unicycles.
- Elected mayors will only be eligible for parliament after the end of their mandate.
- Free parking at the Gérard Center extended to 3 hours.
- Automatic renewal on all online subscriptions to be deleted immediately.
- HS2 will be renamed FFS1 and re-routed so that it passes through the homes of rail executives.
- “Galloway Bakers’ ‘Full Monty Bin Lid’ breakfast will be Britain’s new national dish.
- Rugby League tries will be increased by 4 to 5 points depending on inflation.
- Ceefax will be reinstated for the whole of Greater Manchester.
- MPs will lose their grant to buy cheap food and drinks in Parliament.
- The hand dryer in the men’s toilet at the Crown & Treaty pub in Uxbridge is to be moved to a more reasonable location.
- Count Binface will be the British entrant in Eurovision 2027.
- I stand by my past manifestos: croissants, Brexit, Trident, building at least one affordable house: I’ve got it all covered.
Featured image via Canaries (Binface by Leon Neal/Getty Images, Burnham by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)
|
Sources 2/ https://www.thecanary.co/opinion/2026/06/04/count-binface-makerfield/ The mention sources can contact us to remove/changing this article |
What Are The Main Benefits Of Comparing Car Insurance Quotes Online
LOS ANGELES, CA / ACCESSWIRE / June 24, 2020, / Compare-autoinsurance.Org has launched a new blog post that presents the main benefits of comparing multiple car insurance quotes. For more info and free online quotes, please visit https://compare-autoinsurance.Org/the-advantages-of-comparing-prices-with-car-insurance-quotes-online/ The modern society has numerous technological advantages. One important advantage is the speed at which information is sent and received. With the help of the internet, the shopping habits of many persons have drastically changed. The car insurance industry hasn't remained untouched by these changes. On the internet, drivers can compare insurance prices and find out which sellers have the best offers. View photos The advantages of comparing online car insurance quotes are the following: Online quotes can be obtained from anywhere and at any time. Unlike physical insurance agencies, websites don't have a specific schedule and they are available at any time. Drivers that have busy working schedules, can compare quotes from anywhere and at any time, even at midnight. Multiple choices. Almost all insurance providers, no matter if they are well-known brands or just local insurers, have an online presence. Online quotes will allow policyholders the chance to discover multiple insurance companies and check their prices. Drivers are no longer required to get quotes from just a few known insurance companies. Also, local and regional insurers can provide lower insurance rates for the same services. Accurate insurance estimates. Online quotes can only be accurate if the customers provide accurate and real info about their car models and driving history. Lying about past driving incidents can make the price estimates to be lower, but when dealing with an insurance company lying to them is useless. Usually, insurance companies will do research about a potential customer before granting him coverage. Online quotes can be sorted easily. Although drivers are recommended to not choose a policy just based on its price, drivers can easily sort quotes by insurance price. Using brokerage websites will allow drivers to get quotes from multiple insurers, thus making the comparison faster and easier. For additional info, money-saving tips, and free car insurance quotes, visit https://compare-autoinsurance.Org/ Compare-autoinsurance.Org is an online provider of life, home, health, and auto insurance quotes. This website is unique because it does not simply stick to one kind of insurance provider, but brings the clients the best deals from many different online insurance carriers. In this way, clients have access to offers from multiple carriers all in one place: this website. On this site, customers have access to quotes for insurance plans from various agencies, such as local or nationwide agencies, brand names insurance companies, etc. "Online quotes can easily help drivers obtain better car insurance deals. All they have to do is to complete an online form with accurate and real info, then compare prices", said Russell Rabichev, Marketing Director of Internet Marketing Company. CONTACT: Company Name: Internet Marketing CompanyPerson for contact Name: Gurgu CPhone Number: (818) 359-3898Email: [email protected]: https://compare-autoinsurance.Org/ SOURCE: Compare-autoinsurance.Org View source version on accesswire.Com:https://www.Accesswire.Com/595055/What-Are-The-Main-Benefits-Of-Comparing-Car-Insurance-Quotes-Online View photos
 |
 |
 |