Netflixable? Bollywood Biz Musical Rom-com’s “Break Couples Up” – “Tu Jhoothi ​​Main Makkaar”

The age-old condition of Bollywood films is that if the music and choreography are good enough, you’ll excuse the loose telling of the inconsequential story.

“Tu Jhoothi ​​Main Makkaar” puts that to the test with dazzling choreography, fun music, sexy leads and swanky sets with an even swankier interlude in Barcelona, ​​Spain.

But we’re so far ahead of this story that impatience for “Moving On” overwhelms this Ranbir Kapoor/Shraddha Kapoor (unrelated) rom-com.

Dashing, singing dancing Ranbir Kapoor (“Sanju”) is Rohan, also called “Mickey” and once jokingly called “Jitendra” (“He who overwhelmed the senses”), the head of a service who – for a high price – will break your relationship for you. .

A rich boy who has to go to the gym a lot (not that we ever see him), he and his buddy since childhood Manu (Anubhav Singh Bassi) will anonymously assemble (cases handled through a voice-disguising phone app) a team that could include a fake ex-boyfriend to incite a jealous rage, or a fake fortune teller taking “You can do better” instructions over the radio. They will hammer home any necessary message (“you deserve better” digital road signs) to trick the oblivious partner into dismissing to cause the breakup and not realize they have been manipulated.

Their business doesn’t run on money, but Rohan and Manu have ethics. A married man wants to go out?

“You have a CHILD”, launches Rohan. “Be a MAN (in Hindu with subtitles)” barks Manu.

But Manu’s slow walk to the altar with the adoring but smothering Kinchi (Monica Chaudhary). Can their business, their “art” of rupture save it?

Maybe. But not if motor-mouthed fashion plate Mickey is distracted by “a goddess” who happens to be Kinchi’s best friend. Tiny (Shraddha Kapoor) is – as advertised – a stunner. She throws the guy she rejects flirtatiously like a “spoiled brat” old money for a loop.

“You are so beautiful, I’m ashamed of not being a poet,” he raves.

A whirlwind courtship ensues, Manu’s “Kinchi” problem is ignored, and Rohan’s large, overbearing family overwhelms the budding relationship with Tinni, with their enthusiastic participation.

Bringing mother, grandmother, sister and niece to the movies? Not a smart game, old man.

As we recognized the plot as borrowed from “The Breaker Upperers” and matched with romantic comedies by Matthew McConaughey and Kate-Hudson about trying to scam someone in or out of a relationship, we know exactly where this is happening.

So why does it take two hours and forty minutes to get there?

Yes, it’s a culture shock. Indian films have been long, for various reasons, since the beginning. But one clue that this Luv Ranjan film provides is the way the story unfolds, contributing to the feeling of “loitering”.

It’s not the five or six production numbers, not really. Not even when one is set up by a character noting “The music is about to start…NOW. Then come the dancers…:”

This movie seems designed for an audience that is distracted, half-attentive, or headed for the concession stand or the restroom – a lot. The “overbearing family” gag is just one of many plot elements that are introduced, underlined, beaten again and then beaten to death.

There’s not much new in any of this, but even the simplest “twists” are treated and rehashed as if we don’t understand.

What works are those sexy, energetic, fun song and dance scenes choreographed by Bosco Martis and Caesar Gonsalves.

The wires click and fire just enough sparks, as co-equals, to “work” as a pair. And director and co-writer Luv Ranjan and Ranbir Kapoor turn his character into a motor-paced mouthpiece of Kevin Hart, a quick talker who can knock anyone down with verbiage.

His courtship in Tinni? He is “talented, good-looking, handsome, rich, fit, manly, polite, kind, humble, respectful, romantic and lovable”, even though he says so himself.

Yes, fast is funny, but predictable is predictable, and this rom-com stumbles badly as it heads toward the inevitable — she hired him to blow them up, he’s slow to figure that out.

When the title “Tu Jhoothi ​​Main Makkaar” translates to “You are a liar, I am cunning”, you need to be more cunning to hide where you are going. Otherwise, we start looking for the breakup to happen out of sheer impatience.

Rating: unrated, mild profanity

With: Ranbir Kapoor, Shraddha Kapoor, Monica Chaudhary and Anubhav Singh Bassi

Credits: Directed by Luv Ranjan, scripted by Rahul Mody and Luv Ranjan. A Yash Raj Films/Netflix release.

Duration: 2h39