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Dear Abby: Dose of truth tarnishes warm memories of deceased uncle
DEAR ABBY: I recently contacted my cousin’s daughter who had just passed away. I offered my condolences and a photo of his great-grandfather, who was my grandfather. I also shared some warm memories of his father, my cousin.
She retaliated with seriously negative information about her father, my uncle. It really shook me. I did not want to know this information. I barely knew my uncle, but my family memories all involved happy times together.
What she said shocked and saddened me. I wish I hadn’t known. I think people should talk about those who left or say nothing. Not you? – DISAGREEABLE IN THE WEST
Dear Evil: Most people tend to leave out nasty details when talking about someone who has passed away, but I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules. I’m sorry you were upset by the dose of truth you received in return for your warm memories. But understand, I read obituaries and listened to praise so sanitized that I didn’t recognize who was being discussed. There may be a happy medium.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 59 year old man who was engaged to a 46 year old woman. She told me she was going to go to work on Friday, but I found out she was going on vacation. She was pretending to go to work but was traveling to Georgia to meet a married man she had met on a dating site.
We live in New Jersey, and it’s a 13 hour drive. I found her phone the day before and deleted all of her info, but she still went there to meet him. I am devastated and crushed. Help or suggestions? I wish the people doing this thing could get tattooed on their foreheads to warn other good people. – INJURED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR HURT: I sympathize with your pain, which I’m sure is considerable. I have a few tips that I hope you will heed. Know that finding her phone before she left was a gift from above. Thank your Higher Power so that you now understand exactly who this woman is and did not marry her.
The time has come to move forward resolutely. There are better days – and better women – to come. I say this for sure because you can’t do worse than this one.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 13 year old girl with a screen addiction. I sometimes shoot nights on my phone. I am starting to realize my limits. Sometimes I can’t trust my actions and think I might need help. Do you have any advice? – SEE THE LIGHT AT MARYLAND
DEAR SEEKER: It takes a courageous person to admit that they have a problem and be proactive in accepting that it may be something that they cannot resolve on their own. I commend you for admitting it. You are not the only teenager with this problem. Many people your age and older also find it difficult to cope.
Your next step should be to talk to your parents about your concerns and seek help breaking your screen addiction. This can sometimes involve more than going cold turkey, and they may need to seek a referral from your doctor.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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