If I were in charge: College football conferences would make sense (again).

From now until the start of preseason camp in August, Land-Grant Holy Land will write articles on a different theme each week. This week is all about what we would do if we were in charge of our favorite position group, team, conference or sport. You can catch up on everything Content of the Theme Week here and all our If I were in charge, articles here.

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Like most dedicated (obsessed) sports fans, I have a long list of things I would change, implement, and/or require if I were in charge. Things about or related to my favorite teams, the coaches, the uniforms, the leagues they play in, the rules of the sport(s), you name it.

So of course I was happy to see the decision makers here LGHL gave me/the staff plenty of leeway this week to rant, write and/or talk about such things, with their selection of the substantive theme If I was in charge IIWIC in brief.

If I were to jump right in, if I was in charge, I would be the Cincinnati Reds to spend real American money in an attempt to make their baseball team truly competitive. Oh, what is that? I should probably focus on something related to the state of Ohio or contiguous? You're probably right, given LGHLs primary audience. I just wanted to fire at least one shot at perhaps the worst run professional sports franchise in North America. To proceed…

While IIWIC is a terrible acronym, the theme itself opens up so many possibilities and/or avenues to explore. Do I want to be serious about being scorched earth and saying that if I were in charge, OSU would hire a new school president? Eh, that seems a bit harsh. I mean, who among us has never done that? stepped on a giant pile of their own shit at a new job?

Or should I get crazy/humorous and say that if I were in charge, the school football team would commit a wishbone violation? Seems both plausible and fun given the current Buckeyes personnel.

Ultimately I decided to split the fairway like this infamous criminal/world's best golfer Scottie Scheffler and putting a semi-serious spin on something I have a firm belief or belief about. Shoot, here I go with bad puns about Scheffler.

To cut to the chase, if I were in charge, I would dismantle all of the current Power Five conferences in college football and come up with a new (potentially old?) alignment that gives some semblance of geographic significance. In other words, I want to #makethePAC12greatagain and fix the Big 12 currently consisting of 16 teams, because of course it is BYU and UCF or Cincinnati are never, ever considered conference rivals.

My desire to organize CFB conferences stems from more than just a love of tradition, which I will definitely pursue. There is also a practical element to it. While I realize that not every sports league and/or division is formed or divided with geography in mind, most at least recognize that (geography) freaking exists. And can even act as a natural or potential rivalry creator.

The Cleveland Browns And Cincinnati Bengals (and their fan bases) hate each other because they compete in the same state and conference. The same goes for North Carolina and Duke at the college level. Michigan and Ohio State are neighbors, as are the New York Yankees And Boston RedSox.

The last three rivalries above are three of the best, most controversial, most followed/popular rivalries in all of sports, at least in part due to the proximity and familiarity of the teams. However, that is a leap into tradition.

Sticking to practicalities, logic and common sense for a moment, forcing student athletes to make (possibly) multiple trips from coast to coast lacks all three. Most professional athletes hate exorbitant amounts of travel and they don't have group projects, labs and/or tests to worry about. But the powers that be at the ACC/CFB are more than willing to send SMU to Winston-Salem, North Carolina to play. Wake up forest on a random Friday evening in November!? I mean, what are we doing here?

And forget for a moment the effect this will have on players and even coaches. Who the hell is at this SMU-Wake game? Other than diehard Demon Deacon(s) fans? Is the father of Johnny Quarterback, an SMU legend from the Pony Express days, flying from Dallas to Winston-Salem after work on Friday? There is absolutely no point in creating more of these random matchups.

Obviously I'm referring to an extreme example, but that's just college football, where teams play one game per week and a total of twelve games during the regular season. College softball and baseball teams play 50+. How many midweek trips through different time zones will that be? That require? With all the future travel that comes with it, it's only a matter of time before (more) non-revenue-generating sports and/or programs are eliminated. But that's another conversation for another day.

Now let's talk about tradition. What the hell happened to it, specifically in CFB!? All these conference changes have me sitting here like Vito Corleone in The Godfather/movie meme: Look how they slaughtered my boy. Because soon the days of traditional rivals playing against each other every year will be over.

Instead, we will be lucky to see the civil war in Oregon after 2025. The same goes for West Virginia versus Pittsburgh in the Backyard Brawl, although that rivalry has already taken a hiatus from 2011-2022 and is currently expected to heat up again in 2029.

But who knows if that will ever become a reality. We have no idea what CFB will look like tomorrow, let alone in a few years. So the Backyard Brawl could absolutely fall by the wayside again, like Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State is going to do something with the Sooners joining the SEC.

If I were in charge, conferences would make sense (again). And we would bring back/protect as many classic rivalries as possible. This means that the ACC would only include teams that are relatively close to the Atlantic coast. The term SEC country would only come up when referring to the South Eastern part or region of the country. The Mountain West would be a big deal, the Big East would matter in football, the Pac-10/12 would make a comeback, and the Big Ten would and could, thank God, finally get off the ground Rutgers and/or Maryland!

And none of this would be very difficult to figure out! I would simply divide the country into six or eight regions and split things off from there. I might have a hard time placing a Colorado or a Nebraska, but I'd figure it out eventually, while definitely taking rivalries and long-standing conference ties into account. Best of all, my plan/way would actually make some sense! Unlike Stanford who plays in the ATLANTIC COAST Conference.

So there you have it, folks. If I were in charge, I would bring tradition, pageantry and common sense back to college football. Then of course I would have to tackle this NIL problem…