I am a coronavirus fight soldier, I am scared (opinion)

At the time of this writing, the coronavirus pandemic has reached more than 580,000 cases worldwide, with the United States overtaking China with the most cases and still increasing.

I am a resident physician working at SUNY Upstate Medical College Hospital in Syracuse, NY. I was mentally ready to see these cases in our hospital, but about two weeks ago I-in relation to what I know so far about this virus- Has changed.

As physicians, we are trained to listen quietly and understand and verify patient anxiety. Thanks to the numerous conferences, we are ready to manage these situations and patients will be reassured to be recognized after talking to them.

But sometimes, there are interactions that leave a permanent effect.

The first encounter with a Covid-19 positive patient is an unforgettable one. She had been hospitalized three days ago and was asked for evaluation because her oxygen demand had increased significantly. When I was standing in her room, my heart was racing. I hadn’t noticed it yet, but I was scared.

Her breath was clearly heavy and she was very kind in hospital. I thanked her. After examining her, I told her I needed to be intubated to improve her breathing-put a tube in her airway, and she said she was very scared And answered. I held her hand and said she needed courage to do what she was doing.

She called me to call her husband, who had been isolated at home after a positive reaction, and tell her that she loved him so much. I did what she asked, and he asked me if I could say the same to her.

Four days later, she died of severe respiratory failure, despite maximum medical support. When I knew this, I became scared from anxiety and finally overwhelmed. I attribute my anxiety to three causes. The clinical unpredictability, high transmissibility of the disease, and more importantly, the inability to alleviate patient distress.

Since then, every time I enter a room with a potential Covid-19 infection, I am afraid. I am afraid to infect other patients, colleagues or loved ones.

Health care providers internalize and even forget the emotional sacrifice that work can bring. If you meet one of us in the hallway, you can momentarily forget that we are in the middle of a pandemic. We go to work, smile, calmly and calmly. During my holidays, I am passionate about discussing the myth about the virus with my family and close friends.

We all represent our version in the outside world, knowing that we are afraid, but not discouraged by the uncertainties associated with this pandemic.

This gallantry is very costly for individuals. Huge emotions shake your little parts without you knowing, curb restlessness, and eventually lead to fatigue for some. We have not disclosed the vulnerability to the world because it could cause an external panic.

Beyond that is completely justified. However, when managing a dying patient or pandemic, there is no panic or chaos.

During this time, we return to something that makes us human. Something unrelated to this pandemic that connects us. Many people sing on the balcony, respond with solidarity, donate to the hospital, provide assistance to health care providers, stay at home, and maintain social distance. From all of these, whether singing in, we each play our part. I find my salvation in writing.

Concerns you and I face in the increasing incidence, high communication skills, definitive treatment, potential lack of personal protective equipment and the stagnant economy and unemployment facing this world There is a lot to do. But if you use it one day at a time, let’s stay calm and focus on our role in this battle. Then you might be able to see the light at the end of this tunnel, and probably soon.

I am a soldier in this battle. I am fighting my piece. Keep breathing and breathing.

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