Health
I want to overcome guilt without confessing to my wife
Dear Amy: I am a man who married a child happily in college. My wife and I have been married for 22 years (my second marriage, her first marriage). We have a healthy relationship that has been getting better and better over the years. The two of us are soon retiring and looking forward to it.
Going back, 15 to 20 years ago, there were some “encounters” that did not include sex but included kisses.
I am very embarrassed and disappointed with myself and feel guilty about this. My wife knows nothing about this and I don’t know why she discloses it, but how do you deal with my guilt?
Guilty party
Dear guilty: I think a little justified guilt is actually a good thing. Guilt reminds you of your humanity. It reminds you of the harm that even “good people” can do. Guilt can humble you and admire the vulnerabilities found in others.
However, you will need to determine the length of imprisonment for what you did 20 years ago. You review your actions, decipher the reasons behind them (anxiety, loneliness, fear, arrogance, and / or simple blind stupidity), admit your mistakes and failures, and forgive yourself. You need to choose whether to extend the statement.
The goal Absent I believe “I don’t feel guilty”, but “I’m flawed. I regretted it. I was lucky that the damage didn’t get worse. I’m a better person now. is.”
Have you seen the movie “Frozen” recently? “Let It Go” is a hymn of liberation.
Dear Amy: When I was in my early teens, I had bulimia. I was 5 feet tall, 5 inches tall and weighed 79 pounds. I vomited every time I ate.
I’m in my mid-40s now.
These days, I can hardly control food. I’m tired of eating food in front of others. I hate the sounds people eat. I’m embarrassed to eat something and I can’t control vomiting. I’m not overweight right now, I’m actually overweight. I eat one meal a day and try to control it.
I don’t know if someone like me has any help. People with these problems are usually underweight and hospitalized.
Who do you think I have an eating disorder?
A friend I confessed asked if I had a food allergy. No, I don’t think so. I just hate food.
Hunger and fat
Dear hunger: Unfortunately, recurrence of eating disorders is common. This is one of the reasons why eating disorders are so difficult to treat. Pandemic-related stress, anxiety, severance, and isolation may have triggered you.
You may remember this idea from previous treatments: people trying to recover from addiction (drinking, smoking, etc.) can succeed by avoiding their triggers. But we all have to eat to live. You are forced to confront the source of your pain every day.
Any competent doctor, disability specialist, or dietitian can very easily understand that an overweight person currently has a serious eating disorder.
Seek medical attention immediately. Medical problems may be the root cause of your condition. Medical conditions and allergies can also cause eating disorders, so you may be dealing with a complex combination of causes and symptoms.
The important thing is, as an adult, use your insights and instincts to bravely confront something that is difficult to face. This is the essence of self-care and the journey should begin at your clinic. Be completely honest about your medical history and current symptoms and open to treatments, including talk therapy.
The National Eating Disorders Helpline offers a variety of ways to quickly connect with volunteer counselors (phone, text, and “chat”). Check Nationalaleatingdisorders.org for more information. You can also send the text to the NEDA to volunteers on the Crisis Text Line (741-741) for immediate text support.
Dear Amy: Thank you for your compassionate response Go to “Hanging On” A young woman who was raped but did not report.
I pushed the assault until I was 37 and couldn’t feel the pain. I started working with a wonderful woman who guided me through healing. It was hard, but it was great that anger and anger didn’t boil in me.
I am 68 years old and free.
Thank you
Dear thanks: We hope that “Hanging On” will acquire the quality of counseling you have received.
You can send an email to Amy Dickinson ([email protected]) or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @ askingamy or Facebook.
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